Stole My Heart - 1D Ziall and Larry
by scottrobbo138
Summary: After a drunken night out Louis, Harry and Zayn set off a chain of events that will change the group forever. Meanwhile, Niall makes a shocking discovery about Liam. Who loves who? What will happen? Read to find out.
1. Prologue

**Niall's POV**

I'm Niall, I'm in One Direction. I sing and play an instrument with 6 strings on it!

Yeah, I know, that's copied from my Twitter bio but I'm really no good at this sort of thing. I'm from Mullingar in Ireland, I have an older brother named Greg and I'm 19 years old. I love food, but especially Nando's, my biggest idols are Justin Bieber and Barack Obama, and I share a house with my fellow members of One Direction: Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne and Zayn Malik.

What, you want to know more? Or would you rather know my secret?

Secret you say? Ok then, I'm...

GAY!

I know! Shocker right? Well, there's more.

I, Niall James Horan, am in love...

With Zayn Javadd Malik


	2. Chapter 1 - Liam and Danielle?

**Niall's POV**

I woke up sweating and crying, the bed covers on the floor across the room just like last night, and the one before, and every night for the past few months, ever since the X Factor, ever since I met...

Zayn.

Zayn, with his perfect hair, and flawless face, and deep chocolate brown eyes that I get lost in every time I look into them, and not just because they made me think of eating chocolate.

It was the nightmare that helped me realise why I get lost in his eyes, and why I become fixed on his lips when I look at him with such longing. I. Love. Zayn.

But that nightmare taught me something else too, me and Zayn can never be together. I couldn't go back to sleep now, I need Liam again. Good old daddy direction is the only one who can comfort me at times like this, he told me I should just talk to Zayn about my feelings but he doesn't understand, and Zayn wouldn't either. This isn't just a silly crush, this isn't just lust or longing, this is real love. I know it's cheesy but the first time I set eyes on Zayn I fell in love, he stole my heart.

I left my room and headed to Liam's bedroom door. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I hope he won't be too mad at me. I promised him that I wouldn't bother him tonight because he hasn't had much sleep lately, staying up all night snuggling me and making me feel safe... and wanted.

When I snuggle with Liam, the world feels right and I feel happy. All my worries and fears about Zayn slip away as I stare deep into Liam's hazel eyes I feel so much longing, whoa what am I saying. I don't love Liam, maybe I'm just spending too much time with him lately, that's all. His eyes are similar to Zayn's and his embrace makes me feel warm and snuggly like every-time Zayn touches me but... there isn't the spark or the electricity in those touches, Liam is like a brother or a father that's all. I mean, he is Daddy Direction.

I raised my fist to knock on the door when noises from within surprised me.

"Ugh, Liam, harder. That feels so good."

"Uuugghh you like that baby?"

"Ummm, faster Liam. YES! RIGHT THERE! THAT'S THE SPOT!"

I guess I'm out of luck tonight then, Liam must be spending the night with Danielle, I turned away and started to walk back to my room defeated, I guess tonight will be hell. But then I heard something which shocked me to my core...

"OOOHHH FUCK BETH! THIS FEELS SOOO GOOD!"

My jaw dropped and I couldn't tear my eyes away from Liam's door. I couldn't believe my ears, Liam was cheating on Danielle! My brain was whizzing at 100mph but I was completely rooted to the spot. I can't believe that Liam could do that to Danielle, he's always the most mature and sensible out of the boys, warning us against doing anything stupid and now he's doing... this.

"Niall?"


	3. Chapter 2 - No Nando's?

**Zayn's POV**

I came in late from clubbing with Harry and Louis. Lou had decided to go and see Eleanor so it was just me and Harry in the taxi home. He was so pissed, he fell asleep on me in the back seat. I have to admit he looks kinda cute when he's sleeping, with his sparkling green eyes and his thick curly locks that I just want to run my fingers through.

"Zayn..." Harry stirred a bit and looked up at me staring straight at him. "What are you staring at? And why are you touching my hair?"

Shit, what am I doing. I can't like Harry, I'm straight! Aren't I? I mean yeah there was that one time in college with Danny but...

No I'm definitely not gay. Even if I was, I can't crush on Harry, it would be awkward besides, he's straight, he did a good job of showing that tonight. I moved my hand from his head but he was still staring up at me with a look of confusion and worry.

"Zayn, are you okay?"

I snapped out of my daydream and answered him quickly, "yeah I'm fine I was just...er... making sure you were okay, I don't think the taxi driver would be happy if you threw up in his car right... haha" I laughed nervously and rubbed my neck with my hands, trying to look anywhere other than those bright green eyes.

Harry cocked an eyebrow but then laughed aloud too, "yeah I guess you're right" he giggled.

Phew.

When we arrived back at the mansion I gave the taxi driver a twenty and told him to keep the change and carried an unconscious Harry bridal style up to his room and laid him on his bed. He looks so sweet when he's asleep...

No, lose these thoughts Zayn. Damn it, I thought to myself.

I tucked him in and pluffed his pillow and wrapped the sheets around him, he looked like a sleeping angel... my angel. I shook the thought from my head.

"G'night Haz" I whispered, and kissed him on the forehead.

As I headed back to my room I stopped in the middle of the hallway in shock. I wasn't expecting the sight I saw near Liam's room.

"Niall?"

He turned to look at me, he looked as if he had seen a ghost, he just stood and stared at me, he didn't move and he didn't say a word.

"Niall are you okay? You look as if you just found out that Nando's has closed forever!" I chuckled to myself, hoping to lighten the mood. Everyone knows Niall can't live without Nando's.

At that he shook his head in disbelief and stared at me terrified.

"NO NANDOS?" he shrieked.

I clutched my sides from laughing at the look on his face and he frowned at me.

"What's so funny?" He pouted.

"Your face! I'm just kidding Nando's is fine Niall! But what's wrong? You looked scared?"

He scowled at me with his bottom lip jutting out, his bright blue eyes dark with annoyance. Then he smiled and it felt like the room lit up. His eyes flashed with their usual spark and his braces reflected in the moonlight from the window as he grinned from ear to ear.

"Nothing's wrong Zayn. I just had a bad dream, that's all" despite the smile his charming Irish accent had a hint of sadness in it and it made my heart bleed to see my little leprechaun like this. All the boys cared for Niall, he's just so...innocent.

"Nialler, are you sure you're okay? Do you want a hug?" at my suggestion his face lit up and he practically flung himself into my arms. He's usually only this excited when someone offers him food!

"Whoa, Nialler. Careful!" I whispered as I wrapped my arms tightly around him, pulling him into my chest and caressing his back. He whimpered in pleasure and buried his head in my neck.

"I'm s-sorry Z-Zayn it's just, when I have a b-bad dream, I sn-snuggle with Liam for the n-night. He keeps me safe and warm. But I- I think he has company tonight." I felt a pang in my heart as he uttered those words. How could Liam do that to Niall? Daddy Direction turning his back on our little leprechaun in his hour of need. Well tonight, he's my little leprechaun.

"Shush, it's okay Niall. You can stay with me tonight if you want. I'll make all your nightmares go away. I'll let all your dreams come true instead."

When I uttered those words he pushed back from me slightly and beamed up at me. The Irish charm was back in his flushed pink cheeks.

"You'd do that for me? Really Zayn?"

"Of course Nialler" and with that I pecked him on the nose and interlocked my fingers with his and lead him to my room.

Somehow, it felt right.


	4. Chapter 3 - Suck It

**Niall's POV**

My heart was literally racing as Zayn led me to his room. I felt like I was going to throw up with the butterflies in my stomach and it felt like my heart was going to break free of my chest. I panicked, unsure if Zayn would hear my beating heart and freak out. I started to sweat and I hoped he wouldn't notice whilst a million and one thoughts were whizzing round and round inside my head.

"I'll make all your nightmares go away. I'll make all your dreams come true instead"

Zayn's words kept repeating themselves inside my head, spreading a warm feeling throughout my entire body. The spark of electricity that shot through my body when he pulled me in to a tight embrace is still fresh in my mind, and I can still feel a tingly feeling of excitement where his fingers are interlocked with mine.

He couldn't possibly know what my dreams and nightmares are about. I'm sure of it. I've hidden my feelings well. It was a general statement that's all, he's just looking after me as a friend. Besides, I can smell alcohol on his breath so it's probably the drink talking but I don't care. Maybe the Ziall shippers out there really have picked up on something.

"Niall are you okay? Are you going to lay down or just stand other me all night, it's kinda creepy!"

At the sound of Zayn's voice I snapped back to reality and looked down. I must have been really deep in thought because we were already in his room and I was staring down at Zayn, who was already on the bed. Smirking at me.

AND TOPLESS!

Whoa Niall, breath, act cool, shit, I can feel my pants getting tight. I shifted uncomfortably.

Zayn's smirk faded and his face showed deep concern.

"Niall?"

I grinned at him flashing my braces, turning on my Irish charm.

"Yeah I'm fine Zayn, move over"

He grinned back and moved slightly on the bed so I could lay next to him. I snuggled up close to him, our bodies almost touching. This really isn't helping the problem in my pants.

"Relax Niall, you seem a bit tense"

Zayn purred, yes purred, into my ear as he snaked his arms around my chest, pulling me in tightly to his embrace, our bodies were touching, his crotch pressing into my arse. 'Little Niall' was practically begging for freedom, straining against the material of my boxers.

To my complete surprise Zayn nibbled a little on my earlobe and flicked his tongue across my neck as his hands started to travel down my body. He playfully tweaked my nipples as I let out a low moan but his hands kept moving further down. I gasped as he gave my bulge a squeeze.

"Happy to see my Niall?"

I could practically feel him smirking as he buried his head into my neck nibbling at my soft spot. As the shocks ran through my body I shivered under his touch and let out another low moan. He had no idea of the power he had over my body.

"Zaaayyyyn"

Shit. I can't believe I just moaned his name into the pillow. He started to grind into me, sending shock-waves through my body.

"Did I ever tell you how much I love the Irish accent? It turns me on sooo bad"

Fuck! He did not just say that. That's it, I don't care if he's drunk. I want him so bad. I started to turn my head, and I cupped his cheek in my hand, leaning in towards him. Then our lips smashed together.

It felt like thousands of fireworks were exploding inside my body!

After seconds I felt his tongue licking my bottom lip begging for entrance, I gave it to him without hesitation and gave into his dominance, allowing him to lead the kiss. The heat and the passion in the kiss was so consuming I couldn't help but whimper in pleasure as he bit my bottom lip. My hands started to roam his body, stroking his arms, chest, back, neck, anything I could touch. I felt so much longing. I let out a moan as he grabbed my arse with one hand, the other entangled in my hair. It was magical.

And I wanted more.

He pulled away from the kiss and started peppering love bites on my neck. I growled in pleasure as he brushed over my tender spot with his tongue.

"You like that, don't you Nialler?"

Before I could reply he firmly gripped my shoulders pushing me down into the bed, pressing his lips back against mine and he started grinding our hips together. As he deepened the kiss he started palming me through the material of my boxers. I gasped in total pleasure and almost climaxed right there. But there's no way I'm letting him win that easily.

I used all my upper body strength to flip us other so I was on top and I reconnected the kiss once more, this time I was dominating. I tangled my hand in his gorgeous hair allowing my other hand to roam freely over his well toned chest. I moved my lips and started to nibble his ear, then licked down to his neck, determined to find his soft spot. As soon as I found it I started sucking gently, circling my tongue and grazing the skin with my teeth. I felt the vibrations underneath as he shuddered in pleasure. I grinned into his neck, pleased I could have that effect on him.

I felt his semi-hard member pressing into my butt cheeks as I sat up and starting moving my ass, causing friction between us leaving us both moaning in pleasure. I lowered myself to play with his nipples, kissing down his chest to the waistband of his boxers, watching him writhe in pleasure.

He started tugging on my t-shirt so I sat up, pressing my cheeks against 'Little Zayn' as I pulled the t-shirt over my head and threw it across the room. I stared deep into his chocolate brown eyes, alive with so much longing. And in that split second all doubts left my mind. Alcohol or no alcohol.

I want him now.

I pressed my lips against his forehead, pecking him lightly, then I trailed my kisses down his nose to his mouth, lingering for a while before travelling further down his neck, then his chest, back to his torso. I gripped the waistline of his pants in my teeth and I stared up at him as I peeled them away, letting his 7-inch breathe. He stared at me and winked.

"Suck it"

God I love this Zayn. I circled my tongue around his head before taking as much as I could in my mouth, choking, letting my hand have what was left, while my other played with his balls. I have to say, I give fantastic blow-jobs. I ran my tongue along the length of his shaft and began pumping with my hand, picking up speed. It wasn't long before...

"Eugh, Nialler, I-I'm gunna..."

I swallowed his load greedily (What can I say? I'm in love) and kissed him once more on the lips, staring deep into his eyes. I buried my head into the crook of his neck and whispered four little words.

"I love you Zayn"

I moved my head and looked back at him...

He was fast asleep.

I grinned, he looks sexy when he's sleeping. Oh well, I guess it's for the best that he doesn't know. After all, he was drunk. I rested my head on his chest with longing in my eyes and drifted off to sleep.


	5. Chapter 4 - Job Comes First

**Liam's POV**

I'm laid on my bed, still recovering from the passionate encounter I just had. God I'm in love. I know it's wrong and I know I shouldn't but I do. I love her. She's perfect. Her beautiful blue eyes light up when she smiles, when she laughs it warms my heart, the way she flips her gorgeous electric pink hair gets me overwhelmed. Plus she's got big tits and a really nice arse and she's great in bed...

But those are just bonuses, trust me, she stole my heart the second I laid eyes on her that night in the club when me, the boys, Josh and Eleanor went for a night out. Danielle was supposed to go too but she was ill...

Danielle. Shit. I can't think about her without feeling guilty. I did love her. Once. But, we just started drifting apart really. We don't do much as a couple, we argue a lot, sex isn't the best any more. But I can't break up with her, she loves me.

But I love Beth. Even though we can never be together I couldn't help but fall in love with her. What man would be able to resist falling for her? Obviously most of her cus...

"Liam? Can you help me with this zipper please?"

"Sure Beth, no problem."

I got off the bed and walked to the bathroom door. Of course she'd be getting changed to leave again. Why wouldn't she? She always does, so why would this time be any different. It's not like she loves me back.

When I opened the door I almost died. She wasn't wearing the same dress as earlier (I actually think I ripped it trying to get it off her) and fuck me she looked hot. My jaw dropped and I saw her smirking in the mirror.

"Like what you see Liam? I'd love to have round two but, well, I have to be somewhere else. Now, be a darl and help with my zipper honey."

My fingers were trembling as I helped her zip up her dress. She looked even sexier than the first time I laid eyes on her. My heart began to race.

"Well, I guess I'll be off Liam. You were great as always."

She winked at me as she picked up her and headed for my bedroom door.

"I LOVE YOU"

I don't know what made me do but, I knew I had to tell her. I could feel myself going bright red, and my throat had gone dry. She froze on the spot as I uttered those words, her hand glued to the doorknob. She didn't turn around to look at me but I feeling I knew what her face was showing right now. She straightened her back and coughed a little.

"Same time next week Liam?"

I choked back a sob. I've made a complete fool of myself. She would never love me back, I'm just another number.

"Y-Yeah. Sure."

"See you then."

And with that she was gone.

**Beth's POV**

I sat in the taxi heading back to the club, playing those three little words over and over again in my head. I love you. I LOVE YOU. I. Love. You.

I sighed inwardly and bowed my head. I knew I was in love with Liam, he's just beautiful. Better than any other man I've ever had. I thought I could get over it and just get on with my job but now I know that he loves me too...

Maybe I should call it off with him. It's not like I couldn't replace him. But a part of me wanted him to be in my life.

No. I have to stop these feelings if I want to still see him. My job has to come first. That's why I'll never be able to return those words to him even though I really want to.

The taxi pulled back up at the club and, choking back a sob, I climbed out, passed him a tenner, and headed back inside with a fake smile plastered on my face and a sway in my step.

My job has to come first.


	6. Chapter 5 - The Morning After

**Niall's POV**

I woke up to the smell of pancakes and syrup drifting up the stairs. Along with bacon, eggs and hash browns. That can only mean one thing. Harry is up, and he's hungover.

I climbed off the bed and opened a drawer to get some clothes when I remembered. Shit. I'm in Zayn's room.

I smiled when I saw him fast asleep on the bed, we all know Zayn loves his beauty sleep, not that he needs it. I wonder if he'll remember what happened last night when he wakes up.

**Liam's POV**

I could hear pots and pans clattering in the kitchen. I know Harry must be making breakfast and I guess I'm hungry but it's just too difficult to function without any sleep. I was awake all night with thoughts of Beth swimming around in my head. I just don't know what to do. My heart breaks in two when I think about Danielle and what this would do to her if she knew. With a pang I realised something. I was going to have to choose between Beth and Danielle. But what should I do? Should I follow my head

...

Or my heart?

**Harry's POV**

God my head hurts. I can barely focus on the cooking when I'm trying to nurse my hangover. What exactly happened last night?

Images were flashing through my mind of a lot of dancing, grinding and tequila but not much else. The last thing I remember is arguing with Louis and getting in a taxi with Zayn.

I hope I didn't do anything stupid.

Wait, I remember now. Shit. I was grinding with some girl (I can't remember her name) and we decided to go to the bathroom together. When we got there we started to make out but I could hear moans in another stall. Two men. It felt a bit awkward so I decided to do something about it.

***Flashback***

"Hey, come out of that stall now!"

"Harry what are you doing?"

"Hold on babe. Come out now. Me and my girl want some privacy"

The door slammed open and a guy stepped out glaring at me.

"You got a problem pal? Is it because I'm gay? What? I can't get lucky in the toilets but you can just because you're with a woman is that it?"

"Shut the fuck up faggot! Me and my girl want some alone time"

"Holy shit! Sis what are you doing here with this twat? Were you going to have sex with him! You're not even 18! How the fuck did you get in?"

What the fuck was happening, I stared in horror as this guy started yelling at... What's her face.

"I-I errrr"

"Come on, we're leaving"

"Sorry Harry, I have to go"

"Gee, thanks for ruining my evening faggot!"

I heard sobbing from the bathroom stall and I turned around and to my horror I saw Louis. Crying as he put his t-shirt back on and adjusted his braces.

"L-Louis?"

"Piss off Harry. I never want to see you again"

With that he pushed me into the sink and stormed out the door. I chased him out of the bathroom and ran after him through the club. I broke through the double doors to see him waving down a taxi.

"Louis wait! Please!"

"FUCK OFF HARRY!"

And with that he got in the taxi and left.

***End Of Flashback***

I felt awful for the way I treated my best friend. I have nothing against gays and I've always known Louis is bi and a bit of a whore. Hell even Eleanor knows. She only stays with him because we're her best friends and apparently he's good in bed. Plus it makes Louis seem like a 'better person' to the press.

I didn't know Louis was with that guy. How could I? If I did I would have kept my mouth shut. I just really wanted to get laid and, well, I was pissed! What can I say? I'm only human.

I wonder where Louis went last night. I hope he's okay.


	7. Chapter 6 - The Night Before

**Louis' POV**

Harry Styles. Harry Fucking Styles. I hate him. I can't believe he said that. He probably doesn't mean it but it's not the point. I don't know how to forgive him for what he did. He screwed up my chances with Scott just so he could have sex with his 16 year old sister! And worse, he called us faggots.

But I know I'll forgive him. Like I always do. Because I love him. Yeah, that's right. I, Louis William Tomlinson, love Harry Edward Styles. There, I said it. But don't get too excited, Larry Stylinson is far from real. I can't resist falling deep into those mesmerising green eyes of his, but we can never be together. Because he's straight.

All of the boys in the band know I'm bi. So do Josh, Dani and El. And Paul and the rest of management. And of course my family. But not the fans. I just can't bring myself to come out to the world. That's why I stay with Eleanor.

Me and El aren't in love. We never have been. Management introduced us (the boys) to her two months after the X Factor because they were worried about my reputation. I guess you could say I'm a bit of a whore. It's just my way of coping with my Harry problem. I go out clubbing at least twice a week and hook with a random guy or girl (I'm not picky) and just fuck them senseless in the bathroom. Classy I know. I even have my own regular prostitute who I meet up with every Wednesday. Not to mention my fuck buddy El.

Yeah that's right. My fake relationship with Eleanor Calder does have some benefits. Plus she's a great friend to the band.

The taxi grinded to a halt outside of the house so I passed the money to the driver and climbed out. And fell flat on my face.

"Uuugghh, T-thankssssss"

Damn, my head hurt and my palms were bleeding. I can't even speak properly. How much did I drink?

I staggered to the front door and pressed my full weight against it.

"L-leeet me innnsss. Sit Boooooooo-Berrrrrr."

Fuck I can't even string a sentence together, I started to giggle uncontrollably as I heard footsteps on the other side of the door. The door opened and I fell on the floor taking in the sight in front of me.

"Hey sssssexayyyy"

I giggled again before vomiting on the step and then I laid back down and felt my eyes drift away.

**Eleanor's POV**

I groaned and rolled over in bed. The sound of a car outside woke me up. I looked at my alarm clock: 1am! What the hell is going on out there.

I started to blunder around the dark, looking for the light switch. If I'm up I might as well go to the bathroom.

BANG

What the-

"L-leeet me innnsss. Sit Boooooooo-Berrrrrr."

Louis. Bloody. Tomlinson.

Why does he always choose to come here when he gets in a state like this. I better go down and see if he's okay. I know he was supposed to be with Harry and Zayn tonight. I wonder if he told Harry...

I ran down on the stairs and opened the door to find Louis lying on my doorstep with sex hair, a bruise on his face, gashes on his hands and a broken suspender. He looked at me and gave me a toothy grin.

"Hey sssssexayyyy"

God, how drunk is he. He can't even speak and he just keeps giggling. He definitely had a fight. The next I knew he sat up and retched all over my doorstep before blacking out and hitting his head on the wall.

"Louis!"

I gasped in horror as I saw blood gushing from his head. Oh god. I have to ring an ambulance. This is not going to go down well with the management, the fans or the media.


	8. Chapter 7 - Answer Phone

**Eleanor's POV**

Ring, ring, ring, ring.

Dammit Niall answer your phone, please.

Ring, ring...

"Welcome to the O2 messaging serv-"

Why won't they answer their phones? I rang them all fives times in the ambulance and it just kept going to answer phone. Of course, I had to stop ringing when we arrived because I needed to know how Louis was...

***Flashback***

My body was shaking from all the sobs as I climbed out of the ambulance and headed for the hospital entrance, following the paramedics pushing Louis on a stretcher. God I hope he's okay. He never gets in a state like this unless he's upset or angry. I swear to God if I find out who's caused all this mess I'll kill the bast-

Whoa El, come one, this isn't helping Louis.

"Excuse me? Are you a relative of this young man?"

The nurse's words roused me from my thoughts.

"I-I'm his girlfriend"

I managed to choke out the words between sobs, and the nurse looked at me with pity evident in her eyes.

"Oh, well I'm sorry dear but you're going to have to wait near reception while we take a look at your boyfriend. Family members only at this stage I'm afraid. Why don't you take a seat and make any phone-calls you need to and I'll get someone to bring you a drink and I'll come and find you when you can see him."

"Th-thank you, thank you so much. I-I, oh God, I just hope he's okay."

"Don't worry sweetie. We'll do everything we can to make him pull through and after a few days he should be as right as rain again."

I managed a half-smile at the nurse's kind words but I couldn't shake off my fear that something was going to happen to him. I think my pain must have shown in my eyes because the nurse gave my hand a reassuring squeeze before walking away. I sat down defeated and tried ringing Zayn again.

"I'm sorry, the number you have called is temporarily unavailable."

Why does he never charge his damn phone? I smiled politely at the lady who brought me a coffee and tried calling the other boys again.

"Welcome to the O2 messaging service..."

"Welcome to Orange answer phone..."

"This is the Virgin mobile messaging service..."

I threw my phone to the floor defeated only to pick it up again and see a crack on the screen. Great. Can this night get any better? I scrolled my contacts to find Dani's number and pressed the call button.

Ring, ring, ring, ring... Oh God please pick up, someone has to pick up. Ring, ring, ri-

"Hello? El is that you? It's 2 in the morning, what's wrong?"

"Dani? Dani? Oh thank God. You have to try and get in touch with the boys. I've been ringing them for the past half-hour and they're not picking up. I'm at the hospital. Louis has had a fall and hit his head and there was blood and now he's unconscious and I'm scared Dani please, please come to the hospital."

My voice cracked halfway through the call and I broke into sobs down the phone. I couldn't even hear what Danielle was saying any more but I think she said she's on her way and that she'd try phoning the boys. I hung up the phone when I saw the nurse coming back to me with only a small smile on her face.

"How-how is he? Can I... see him?"

"We've managed to stitch his head together but he's lost a lot of blood and he has a large amount of alcohol in his system. We're going to have to keep him in for at least a few days to monitor his health but he should be okay soon. We've had to put him in a medically induced coma for now though because he needs to remain still. But you can go and see him if you'd like. He's in a private ward just around the corner. I'll take you there now."

***Flashback Ends***

I'm still in the same spot I've been in for the past hour. Sitting in the hospital chair next to the bed, holding Louis' hand and stroking his hair softly. He looks peaceful and beautiful despite the tubes in his arms and bandages around his head and the bruise on his face. I can't cry any more, I'm all out of tears. I never realised how much I care about him. When Paul told me about our 'relationship' I promised myself I wouldn't get attached emotionally and it worked at first. Me and Louis became best friends and we shared a really close bond, but now, I'm wondering if there's something more to our relationship. Am I falling in lo-

"El? I brought you a glass of water. You really should try and get some sleep. I've rang Liam and left a message on his voicemail so as soon as he gets it the boys will arrive."

"Thanks Dani. I don't know if I can sleep. I'm really worried about him. What if something goes wrong while I'm asleep and he never wakes up."

"El, seriously, you need to rest. I don't want you to end up in a hospital bed too. I'll sit in here and watch him and I'll wake you up if there's any changes, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks Dani."

"No problem. He'd want you to get some sleep, you know that right? He loves you."

I gave her a weak smile. "He loves you." But not in the way that I think I might love him... I was feeling sleepy though. I drank my water and leaned over to kiss Louis on the forehead and whisper in his ear.

"Night night Boo-bear. Sweet dreams. I-I love you."

I gave him one last kiss before resting my head on the pillows beside him and I felt myself drift away to dreamland.


	9. Chapter 8 - Regrets and Concerns

**Danielle's POV**

Ugh, God I hate hospitals. It's almost 8 in the morning now and there's still no sign of the boys, no news from any nurses and no change to Louis' condition. I glanced at Eleanor, still sleeping peacefully, her head resting next to Louis', her fingers intertwined with his. It's the moments like this when I have to remind myself that they're not a real couple. But I'm pretty sure Eleanor wants to be. I've seen the looks that she gives him when he's not paying attention, the way she laughs when he makes a joke, the way she plays with her hair when he's telling her a story, the way her eyes light up when he enters the room. It's all the signs of love. She thinks I don't know but I do. I mean, come on, I'm her best friend, and all those tell tale signs are painfully obvious. I'm sure even Liam would pick up on it, his fatherly instinct is almost as good as my motherly one. Almost. I decided to send him another text, I have to admit, I'm starting to get worried.

To Li-li

Hey baby, still no change with Louis and the nurses haven't been back for a while. El is still sleeping, I don't want to wake her in case she gets upset again. Hope you and the rest of the boys are ok, I'm starting to worry. Ring me as soon as you read these messages and bring the boys to the hospital. Love you, Dani xxxx

**Niall's POV**

I left Zayn in bed and after quickly putting a clean t-shirt and some sweatpants I headed downstairs with my stomach growling. I hope Harry has made enough breakfast for two.

"Morning Hazzy"

I grinned as I pinched his cheeks and adopted the voice of a mother talking to her baby. He hates it when I do this to him, especially when he's in the kitchen.

"Piss off Ni, I'm making breakfast so if you want any you better shut up and sit down."

I frowned at his attitude, he's not usually this grumpy. I wonder if it has something to do with why Louis didn't come home last night.

"Sir, yes sir!"

I tried to hide my smirk as I pulled a salute and snapped to attention before marching to my chair. I couldn't see his face but I just know he rolled his eyes. He turned around and came over to me carrying a tray with a stack of pancakes drowned in syrup, two sausages, three strips of bacon, two slices of toast, a hash brown, scrambled eggs and a steaming cup of tea. I grinned at him as he placed the tray in front of me.

"Dig in Nialler, and that's chef to you in the future, not sir"

He smirked at me, the playful Harry returning and I laughed as he sat down with his own breakfast.

"Where are Liam and Zayn?"

As he asked that simple question I felt a strange mix of emotions run through my entire body. Happiness from the memory of my night with Zayn; fear that Harry might know something about it; sorrow for not being with him now, stroking his olive skinned chest; jealousy that other people cared about MY Zayn; and a huge wave of anger at the mention of Liam's name. The memory of what I heard from his room last night came flooding back and I felt my fist clench, how could he do that to Danielle. I'll have to speak to him about it late.

"Niall? Are you okay? You haven't answered me!"

"Oh. Er, I think they're both still in bed. Erm, wh-what about Lou? Do you know where he is?"

"He stopped out last night. I think he went to Eleanor's or something."

My face fell at his reaction to my question. His smile vanished from his face and he didn't look me in the eye when he answered. His face drained of colour and he practically spat his answer at me. He looked away from me and started to swirl his food around the plate with his fork.

"H-Haz? Are you okay? Do you feel Ill?"

"I'm fine Niall I'm just not hungry. I'll be in my room."

My jaw hung open as he pushed his plate away and stormed to his room. One thing is for certain. Shit happened last night between him and Louis. Another case for detective Niall to solve. Giggling at my own joke I ate my last bite of pancake and pulled Harry's tray towards me.

**Harry's POV**

Why did he have to mention Louis? I'm in no mood to talk about him. I was pissed, I didn't exactly do anything wrong and what did he do? Run from the club in a temper. Big girl. I winced in pain as I looked in the mirror, examining the bruise I got from the sink last night. I looked at my phone on my bedside table, that reminds me, how did I get to bed last night?

Anyway, I checked my phone: 12 missed calls - Eleanor. So, that's where he went last night. And he told her about what happened so she wanted to shout at me down the phone. Or maybe he wanted to shout down the phone at me and was hoping I'd pick up if he rang from a different number. Well screw him. Screw them both. I threw my phone back down on to the bed and stripped down to go in the shower to cool down.

**Zayn's POV**

Fuck my head hurts. I groaned as I woke up feeling somehow lonely and cold. I registered that I was sleeping naked, I never do that. My eyes wandered around the room taking in my clothes scattered on the floor. There's my shirt from last night, and my trousers, and socks, and two pairs of boxers...

Wait, two pairs of boxers? I never leave clothes on the floor. As I started to wake my self up a bit I realised that those boxers aren't mine. They belong to Ni-

Shit! All my memories from last night came flowing back: partying at the club, watching Louis run outside, getting a taxi home with Harry, carrying him to bed, finding Niall outside Liam's room and deciding to look after him, taking him to my room for comfort, sharing a kiss and... the rest.

I groaned audibly. I can't believe I did that, taking advantage of a vulnerable Niall whilst pissed. Yeah, smart move Zayn, that's really going to impress Harry...

Whoa! Where the fuck did that come from? I have to get rid of these thoughts. I need to clear my head. I rolled out of bed and stepped into the bathroom splashing my face and brushing my teeth. I pulled the trousers on that I wore last night and grabbed a t-shirt from the wardrobe. I picked up my phone and my fags and saw that my phone had no life at all. I plugged it into the charger before creeping downstairs and heading straight out the door. I don't want to speak to any of the lads this morning yet. Especially not Niall.

**Liam's POV**

I laid awake in the bed for another thirty minutes, conflicting thoughts going round and round in my head. I heard my phone vibrate from the night stand and saw the screen light up. I picked up the phone and frowned at the screen.

10 missed calls -Eleanor

6 missed calls - Dani

7 texts - Dani

1 new voicemail

I clicked on the voicemail first, curious to see who had left a message.

"Li-Liam? Erm, listen, me and El have tried ringing you and the other boys a few times but you haven't answered so... Anyway, erm. We're in the hospital, Louis turned up at Eleanor's last night pissed and he passed out and err, hit his head and knocked himself out. Anyway, long story short, he's had stitches and he should get better but he has a lot off alcohol in his system and he's lost a lot of blood so they're keeping him in for at least a few days to umm, monitor his progress but err, one more thing. Oh God, I don't know how to say this but er, they've put him in a medically induced coma so they can monitor him but... But there's no guarantee that he-he'll wake up again."

My jaw dropped and my phone fell from my hands. I felt the energy completely drain from my body as I stared intently at the phone on the floor in front of me, begging it to tell me what to do. I needed answers, I'm daddy direction, I have to know what to do in this situation. I felt my throat catch as a tear rolled down my cheek.

"NIALL! HARRY! ZAYN!"

Pull yourself together Liam. You have to stay strong for everyone.


	10. Chapter 9 - A New Outlet

**Zayn's POV**

I managed to get out the house without any of the boys noticing and I headed straight for the little bench near the pond at the end of the garden. I needed some space to be free from the other boys and the rest of the world and have some time to think. Thoughts were spinning round and round in my head fighting for dominance as I lit up a cigarette and took a drag. I've never particularly liked smoking, but it helps to have an outlet of some kind. At least this one allows me to get out of the house and sit on my own for a while and clear my head. Not that it's ever clear. Ever since that experience with Danny in college when I gave him a blow-job in the toilets I've never been able to shake away these dark thoughts that eat me up inside. That was my first sexual experience ever, and it was with a guy. Before that I'd never really considered my sexuality but since that encounter I've never been able to look at anyone the same, without feeling that they are judging me.

People say I'm vain because I spend a lot of time looking in mirrors, but that's not the real reason. The real reason is that I'm insecure. It feels like there are several versions of me inside this one body, constantly raging a war against each other, fighting for dominance over who would appear at the surface today. Which version of me would I see in the mirror the next time I looked? What would I see drawn on my face? Who would be the one showing on my lips? And most importantly, which version of myself would be hidden in my eyes. It's an endless and painful battle I have with myself and it's all my fault.

Deep down inside, I know that I am gay. I've pretty much always known. Girls just don't really do anything for me in the downstairs department. But I'll never be able to truly embrace that. I hate myself for being gay. My entire family is homophobic and I've been brought up the same way, disapproving of homosexuality, finding it disgusting. That alone is hard enough to live with. A homophobic homosexual who obviously hates himself for being who he is. But that's just one side. The other side hates my family for being homophobic because without even knowing it they make my life hell. Even in simple comments like "Have you got a girlfriend yet Zayn?" "Eugh, I can't stand watching gay people on the TV it's disgusting!" "God, how camp do you want to be?" It breaks my heart knowing that my family would never accept me for who I am and that's why I can never come out. Not to mention the hate I would receive from the press and the fans. I know the boys would accept me, like they accepted Louis and Niall, but not management. Niall is terrified of telling them about his sexuality and the way they force Louis to pretend he loves Eleanor is disgusting.

Then, there's the other side of me that hates me for hating my family because it knows that they are right and that I am disgusting and that nobody could ever love me and that I don't deserve to exist. The boys accept me for who I am even though I've never came out to them or told them all of this about me, they make me feel loved and wanted, the way my family never did, and they help me to keep myself distracted from these thoughts. But it can still be difficult being around the boys. Especially Harry. I don't know what it is about those emerald eyes of his but they just have me hooked. And now there's the situation with Niall. How is our relationship ever going to be the same after last night? And how would the other boys react if they found out how I'd treat Niall. I felt myself slipping deeper into my dark thoughts as I thought back to the one friend who knew everything about me. My old childhood friend from Bradford who knew every tiny detail about me and loved me regardless, just like I did with her. She'd helped me get over so much stuff before she left Bradford 4 months before I applied for X Factor and we lost touch a bit. She still keeps me strong though, just by thinking about her. She helped me come to terms with the truth about me. We even had sex a few times, just to see if I liked it. Sometimes at night, when I cry myself to sleep after hours of inner struggles, my mind flicks back to her and I can picture her holding me as I cried into her arms, my face buried into her neck, tears dripping into her jet black hair, her arms massaging my back as she offered me soothing words of comfort, "We all care about you more than you think, you shouldn't be ashamed of who you are, you're not fucked up, you shouldn't judge yourself for being yourself, there's nothing wrong with you at all you're one of my best friends, do you think you'd be my best friend if you were disgusting?"

As I sat and thought about those memories the tears began rolling down my cheeks. I felt so empty. I hate everything about my existence. I used to say that I have 'dark thoughts' or 'a dark side' that always lingers in me somewhere but I've pretty much accepted that there isn't a dark side in me. The darkness looms around me, threatening to overwhelm me at any time and completely take over my body. Back in Bradford my outlet for pain was always my best friend Beth, art and literature have been outlets for my pain until I joined One Direction and I couldn't find the time, smoking has been an outlet for me ever since Beth moved away and naturally singing has been an outlet for me all my life. But I was starting to crave for another outlet, one that could take my pain away, not just distract me from it. Smoking no longer helped because it gave me time to think and singing is my job now. I rolled up the sleeves of my Varsity jacket and gently brushed my fingers along the marks on my wrist from where I'd pressed the blade deep into my skin, just this morning, watching the blood flow from the cut as if it was my hatred leaving my body. As soon as I had picked up the blade this morning I knew that this was going to be my new outlet. Physical pain to take away the emotional and psychological pain I have suffered all my life.

Even though it frightened me and disgusted me that I could do this to myself and leave these foul marks on my skin I somehow soothed my inner anguish. At least now I could look almost fucked up on the outside as I feel on the inside. I took the last drag of my fag before flicking it into the pond and standing up to head back inside. I already wanted to feel the sensation of the cold metal pressing deep into my skin again. Watching the blood seep from the cuts and with it all my anger and sorrow. I managed to get back upstairs to my room without being heard and opened the door to my bathroom...

"NIALL! HARRY! ZAYN!"


	11. Chapter 10 - I'm His Bloody Girlfriend!

**Harry's POV**

The 10 minute car journey to the hospital feels like its taking hours. Liam is sat in the driver's seat, eyes glued to the road and hands gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles were going white. I can tell he's trying to keep his emotions bottled up for the sake of the rest of us. I know he feels guilty about the situation as well because he feels like it's his duty to look after us all. I mean, sure, he's 'Daddy Direction' and we love him for it but sometimes he needs to lighten up a bit, this isn't his fault at all. Zayn's in the passenger seat, staring out of the window. I get the impression that he either feels guilty too or maybe blames me because he won't look at anyone. His mind seems somewhere else though, and he keeps rubbing his left wrist, I wonder if he's okay. Niall is next to me in the back with his feet up on the chair, arms wrapped around his knees, head bowed down with tears rolling down his cheeks. He always is the most emotional out of the group. He even cries when he sees a fan crying, although the management warns him about that.

Liam tried ringing Danielle when we were still at the house but he couldn't say a word so I spoke to her. She told us that there hadn't been any change through the night and that her and El hadn't left his side and she'd managed to get El to have some sleep. I've never felt more scared in my life, going to the hospital to see my best friend, not knowing if he'll ever wake up again or not. The guilt is practically eating me up inside, the last time I spoke to him replaying over and over again in my head. I know for a fact that our fight is the reason he is in hospital right now. Danielle even told me that Eleanor said he looked like he'd had a fight. My actions have put my best friend in hospital, all because I wanted to get laid, what kind of sick, twisted monster am I?

"H-Haz? We're here. Are you coming in? Li has spoken to the nurse and she said she'll take us to the w-ward to see Lou..."

Wow, I've never seen Niall so upset. His eyes were streaming with tears and his whole body was shaking with sobs. Liam was talking to a nurse near the hospital entrance and for some reason Zayn didn't seem to want to go anywhere near Niall. I guess it was up to me to console the poor little leprechaun.

"Ni, come on, don't worry. He'll be fine, I promise. Lou's a tough one you know. Come on, lets go inside. Liam is waiting and Dani will probably want to sleep so we should go to the ward quite soon. Trust me Nialler, he'll be alright. He has to be..."

I wrapped my arm round Niall and headed in the direction of Liam, shooting a look over my shoulder at Zayn to check he was following us and saw him slowly walking behind us with his eyes looking to the floor, rubbing his wrist again. My heart was being so fast as I silently prayed that Louis really would be alright. I'd never forgive myself if anything happened to him.

**Eleanor's POV**

I'd only been awake about half an hour when Danielle told me that she's spoken to Harry and that the boys were on their way and about 15 minutes later I heard footsteps approaching the private ward. The door opened and the nurse waved the boys in. Naturally, Liam was the first to come in to the room and Dani ran straight into his arms. Niall practically dived to Louis' bedside as soon as he entered, tears falling from his already red eyes as he hugged Louis close to him. Zayn walked into the ward glancing around the room, eyes lingering on Louis for a while and then he sat down one of the chairs staring intently at the floor and fiddling with the sleeve of one of his stupid Varsity jackets, probably agitated because he can't spoke. I never really liked Zayn that much. He's definitely my least favourite of the boys except Ha-

"Ho-How is he?"

Harry. Hah, how is he indeed. Like you really care Styles. I had to stop myself from snorting. Louis has cried to me so many times about Harry that I can't even bring myself to look at him, "Why doesn't he love me El?" "He treats me like crap, why does he hate me so much?" "Eleanor, I love him so much and it's like he doesn't even notice." "I just want him to be my Hazza-Bear." I'm convinced he has something to do with the situation we're in now. I've seen Harry drunk, and he can say some pretty hurtful things. Plus, Louis can get really emotional and vulnerable when he has a drink, even more than Niall, and if you throw unrequited love into the equation then the result is never great. Harry is staring at me intently and I realise that he's waiting for an answer. I guess I should probably bring him up to speed.

"Still no change Harry, not since we spoke on the phone. The doctors should be due to come back in about ten minutes to check his levels and run some tests so hopefully we might know a bit more then. Plus, the scan results from last night should be available in about an hour so the doctors should be able to make a bit more progress."

"Listen Dani, you and El have been here all night. Why don't you both go home for a while. Me and the boys can stay with Lou for a few hours and we'll keep you up to date with everything the doctors say. Right lads?"

I watched as Niall, Harry and Zayn nodded at Liam's words and even Dani looked she was about ot agree with him. Typical Daddy Direction, everyone hanging on to his every word like a group of small children. Well not me.

"No Liam. I'm staying here. I'm not leaving his side. He came to my house last night, I was the one who saw him hit his head, I was the one who had to phone an ambulance and go to the hospital with him, I was the one who tried ringing you all to let you know what had happened but none of you could even be bothered answering your phones, I was the one who had to sit and wait for the doctors news last night praying with all my heart that he wasn't going to die, I'M HIS BLOODY GIRLFRIEND!"

I watched in horror as my words hit the boys like knives. I'm not normally one to snap and I could see the shock on Danielle's face. It was those final words that I had shouted that shocked me more than the hurtful remarks. I never referred to myself as Louis' girlfriend except to the media or to the fans. I mean, everyone in the room knows that our relationship is fake so I've basically just admitted to them all that I have feelings for him. I glanced at Danielle and her eyes made contact with my own. I stared at her, hoping she would know what I wanted. I have to get out of here for a while, to clear my mind.

"Um, El? Maybe we should just go for a coffee or something? While we wait for the scan results? We'll let the boys stay with Louis for an hour or so and then once we find out some more information then we can decide what to do, yeah?"

Typical Dani. Okay, she knew what I wanted but did she have to go all motherly about it again? I'm her friend, not her daughter for God's sake.

"Y-yeah, sure. Let's go."


	12. Chapter 11 - The Rotor

**Liam's POV**

We'd decided to take turns to stay with Louis for the night. The doctor had told us earlier that there didn't appear to be any signs of lasting damage but they couldn't risk waking him up until at least a week and until then he had to be constantly monitored. Of course we all volunteered ourselves instantly to stay with him but the doctor insisted on his getting some rest so we decided on a rotor. Sitting in the hospital room with just an unconscious Louis for company gave me some time to think about my situation.

"I really love her Lou, you know? It might seem strange that I could fall for a girl like that but she's just perfect. But I pretty much confessed my love for her and she didn't even react, I've blew it, I know I have. But even if I have, I can't keep living like this, with Danielle. It's not fair on her. I can't keep doing this to her, it's killing me. But if I break up with her it'll break her heart. I just don't know what to do. I know you can't talk to me or anything, hell I don't even know if you can hear me, but I just have to get this stuff off my chest. I have to do the right thing, don't I? If I've ever loved Dani, and I know I did once, then I have to do the mature thing and end it now before someone gets hurt."

I smiled at Louis and squeezed his hand, it was strange talking to him like this but somehow it felt like he had helped me. I got my phone out of my pocket and typed out a message.

To Dani

We need to talk, Li x

About a minute after the message sent the screen lit up with a reply.

From Dani

Sure, what's up? xx

To Dani

Not now, meet me tomorrow at that coffee shop on the corner of your street at about 12. We'll talk then, Li x

From Dani

Yeah, sure. See you tomorrow. Love you xx

I sighed as I read those last two words before putting my phone away just as I heard the door open. I looked up and smiled at the Irish boy as he crept into the room.

"Hey Li, my turn now right?"

**Niall's POV**

"So, know you now Lou. I really don't know what to make of it all. He won't even look at me since that night. I hope you can really hear all this and that you'll remember it all for when you wake up because I really could use some advice from the Tommo."

The door opened and the nurse walked in. It wasn't the same nurse from earlier, she was a lot younger and I guess you could say more attractive and as soon as she looked at me it was pretty obvious that she was a fan.

"Oh, hey. I-I er, didn't see you there. I hope I didn't startle you, I just need to check the patient's blood levels. I'm Helen by the way, you'll probably be seeing a lot more of me, I-I er I mean I'll be in here a lot more often, I mean I'm going to be Louis' permanent nurse from now on, er I mean the patient's nurse. Oh God, I'm so sorry, it's just, I'm a huge fan and I haven't really been working here very long and -" "It's alright, don't worry about it. I don't bite. I probably wouldn't be able to eat you with these braces on anyway. So, Helen, are you going to be Louis' nurse from now on? Because I have a feeling Harry will love that."

I winked at her as I said that and I think I may have over done it a little bit because she practically squealed with emotion. She blushed like crazy and her usually pale skin turned a bright shade of pink, contrasting hugely with her dark black hair and emphasising her freckles. She giggled a little and turned her back on me to check Louis' blood levels.

"Are they normal? His levels I mean?"

"Oh, oh yeah, they're still pretty much the same. We're hoping that they will increase shortly but that probably won't happen for a little while yet but for now I'll be monitoring them every hour."

"Good." I smiled at her maybe a little too widely and the blush appeared on her cheeks again before she said goodbye and left the room.

**Zayn's POV**

I took a deep breath before I went into Louis' private ward, knowing that Niall's shift was right before my own and sure enough the Irish lad was sat on the chair next to the bed staring at me when I walked in. It felt like those deep blue eyes were staring straight into my soul. I shuffled uncomfortably under his gaze.

"Erm, it's er, I mean, well, you can go and rest now."

"Oh, okay, right. Yeah, sure, it's your turn on the rotor now, of course. I'll just, er, bye."

I could literally see the hurt in his eyes as he left the room quickly and it made me feel like shit. Even more shit than normal. I looked at Louis laid unconscious on the bed and sighed at the sight, knowing that he would be free from all his thoughts, and I longed to be in that situation. I sat down next to him in silence, my fingers running along the cuts on my arm, counting them. Five on my wrist, three on my forearm, another six on my bicep and three on my shoulder. I also had two on my hip and a couple on my leg. This day has been really difficult and my 'new outlet' of cutting was really helping but it was also kind of addictive and I was afraid that if I kept cutting in the same place, people would start to notice. As I sat and looked at Louis my thoughts started to drift to think about Harry and Niall. My feelings for them are so fucked up. I think I might be in love with Harry, but I can't get Niall out of my head after our 'experience' and I feel myself lusting for more, but is it only lust?

I could feel my hatred of myself, of my family, of Niall and Harry and of everything else start to wash over me and my fingers began to twitch for the blade in my pocket. I reached for it and pressed it against the skin of my arm. I added a slight amount of pressure, just enough to get that familiar rush of adrenaline, before piercing the skin with the cold metal and slicing a neat line into my arm. I removed the blade before making two more cuts, watching the blood trickle down my skin, washing away the pain. Of course the release is only temporary but God it felt good right now. I grabbed a tissue from the table next to the bed and cleared the blood from the fresh cuts before pulling my sleeve back down again.

**Harry's POV**

The idea of being alone with Louis in his current position frightened me a lot and I headed slowly for the private ward at the end of the corridor. I finally gathered together the courage to open the door to see Eleanor sat holding his hand tightly, whispering in his ear and stroking his hair. The image in front of me made me feel sick to the stomach. She shouldn't be touching him like that. They're not even in a real relationship. She looked up when I walked in the room and shot me an evil glare before kissing him on the forehead and pushing past me to leave the ward. The hatred in her eyes frightened me as I felt her breath close to my ear.

"I don't know what he sees in you."

She spat the words at me and then stormed from the room. I couldn't help but stare at the door in shock. What did she mean, "sees in me"? Does Louis have a crush on me? No, of course not. He couldn't possibly. Why not? He's bi isn't he? It's possible. No, we're best friends, that's all. My head was spinning as I tried to process her words. Maybe she was just bitter with me because she thinks I have something to do with him being in hospital. Well, I guess it is to do with me. I feel guilty enough to start with, without Eleanor fucking Calder judging me. Me and El have never really liked each other, probably because she's far too attached to Louis considering she's not his real girlfriend and he always chooses me over her because we have a really close bond. Shit. Maybe that's what she meant by those words. Maybe she just misinterpreted the bond we share. Or maybe she has picked up on something I haven't...

"Lou? I don't know if you can here this but... I-I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry for what happened at the club. I didn't mean it and I never wanted any of this to happen. I love you so much Lou and I would never hurt you willingly. You're my best friend in the world and I hate seeing you like this. It breaks my heart not knowing if you will ever wake up again. Wondering if I'll ever get the chance to see those blue eyes of yours. I don't know what Eleanor meant just then but I don't know what you see in me either. I don't deserve you as a friend. I love you so much Lou. More than I let you know. Hell, probably more than I even realise. I don't know what this love means or how deep our bond really is but please please wake up so we can try and find out together. I can't live without you."

The tears were spilling from my ears as the words came spewing from my mouth. I don't really know what I was saying because my heart is working faster than my brain, pouring itself out of my mouth but I all I know is that every word is true. I clutched his hand in my own as I rested my head on his chest. I don't want to leave his side.


	13. Chapter 12 - Our Spot

**Liam's POV**

My heart is racing and I can feel my palms getting sweaty, I've never felt so nervous... and guilty. Each step down the street became harder than the last, like my body was protesting against what I'm about to do, what I have to do, what I want to do, what I need to do. Not just for me, but for Danielle too. It has to end this way, before things get out of hand. Just a clean break, we'll part on amicable terms, no tears, no arguments, maybe we'll even stay friends.

Who am I kidding? This will break her heart no matter how I phrase it. And I'm Liam Freaking Payne for Christ's sake, I can't lie any more, I have to tell exactly why we're breaking up. And then there will be tears, a lot of tears, and a large argument that could easily turn into a fight. Why does everything have to be so complicated? Why did I ever have to set eyes on Beth? I hate her for all of this. With her stupid big tits and cute little ass. And her dumb pink hair that highlights her eyes beautifully. And that god damn laugh that drives me crazy. And that perfect smile that takes my breath away. And the way that just her presence in a room gives me butterflies...

Oh, what the fuck am I talking about? I can never hate Beth! I'm in love with the girl! Completely and utterly head other heels. Truly, madly, deeply. Wow, that sounds corny as hell. But it's true, she practically saved me. Not that I needed saving from Danielle but, well, yeah.

Shit, I'm at the door of the café already! How did that happen? And there's Danielle, sat at our usual table in the corner. We always come here because it's usually just full of old ladies sipping tea, eating scones and sharing the latest gossip. It's a nice change from screaming fans who think it's appropriate to flash us and throw tampons at Harry on stage. Although that was quite funny. I guess you could say that the café is 'our spot', which I guess is probably a bad thing today. Why didn't I think of that before? I'm going to break my girlfriend's heart in her favourite place, in our spot. That's low.

I finally muster up the courage to open the door and the little bell tinkles announcing my arrival. Danielle looks up at me and gives a weak smile. Her eyes look red and she seems tired. Did she even sleep last night? I know I didn't and I probably look awful for it. Does she suspect why we're here today? I don't if that's good or bad. This is so hard. I mean, yeah, sure, I've broken up with girls before but this is different. This is Dani. The girl I once loved with all my heart. The girl who still loves me. I felt a tear welling in the corner of my eye and fought it back. I can't afford to cry now, I have to be strong for when this happens, I have to tell Danielle everything. I weakly smile back at her and make my way to the table and sit down opposite her.

"Hello again dears, the usual is it? Latte with two sugars, black americano no sugar, and two slices of the chocolate sponge with vanilla ice-cream. Oh, and one fork, one spoon. Not two spoons."

"Yeah, thanks Angie."

Like I said, this is our spot.


	14. Chapter 13 - Gone

**Liam's POV**

We sat in complete silence as we ate our cake, barely making eye contact with each other. I've never felt more uncomfortable in my life.

"So, erm, Liam? You said you wanted to talk, right? What is it? Because, I don't mean to be rude, but I don't have all day. I'm at an audition later."

She gives a nervous giggle but I know she fakes it, I can hear her voice crack as she says the words. I look up to meet her eyes and I can see the fear in her eyes, eyes that are glistening with unshed tears. The eyes that I once found mesmerising, the eyes that I once loved, the eyes that stole my heart. I'm staring deep into her eyes, searching for any lasting sign of the spark that made my stomach do somersaults and my heart leap into my throat. And instead, I see nothing. I just feel guilt and remorse. And my mind wanders to Beth and how much I love her. I know that one I'm about to do is for the best. It has to happen.

"Dani."

I groan inwardly at the use of her pet name. I can't use that know, it's not the time. I can practically feel that little bit of hope that she gained from just that name. I take a deep breath and start again.

"Danielle. Listen. There's a reason I asked you to meet me today. I've been thinking about this for weeks now and I can't go on like this any more -"

"Li? Baby? Don't -"

"No, Danielle. Please. I have to get this off my chest. These past few weeks have been tough for me, I've been struggling a lot with conflicting emotions and that's why I've tried to stay away as much as possible. I don't want to hurt you any more. I can't do this. Us. It can't carry on like this. There's, there's just no spark left. And I know you'll say that we can bring it back but the truth is we can't. It's not you, it's me. I don't love you any more."

I was prepared for tears, I was prepared for anger, I was prepared to see all happiness drain from her. But I wasn't prepared for this.

"Noooooooo. Liam, please. We can make this work. We have to. I love you so much Li. Please don't leave me. You're my whole life. You're my everything. I'll die without you. Please Li. Please don't do this to me. I'm begging you. What can I do to make it right? I can change. I'll change everything for you if that's what it takes. Just please, please, please don't leave me Liam. I need you. I'll get surgery, I'll lose weight, I'll gain weight, I'll quit my job, I'll change my hair, I'll buy a whole new wardrobe, I'll act like a completely different person, I'll have your kids, I'll marry you. Hell, I'll even get a fucking sex change if that's what you want. Anything, anything at all. Just say the word and it's done. We can go away for a while, take a break from each other maybe, give you time to think. Or we could do more things together, bring back the spark? We can try some new things out in the bedroom. We'll have a threesome!"

Whoa. Where the fuck did all that come from? What the hell have I done to her. I have to tell the truth. I don't know if it will make her feel better or worse. But at least then she'll know that the blame doesn't lie with her.

"Dani, Danielle. Listen to me. There's more, it's not your fault. I've met someone else. Her name is Beth and I love her like I used to love you-"

"YOU DICKHEAD! YOU FUCKING DICKHEAD! HOW COULD YOU CHEAT ON ME! WHO THE FUCK IS THIS BETH ANYWAY? I'LL FUCKING KILL THE BITCH! YOU SON OF A BITCH! I HATE YOU!"

I've never seen Danielle like this before. She hardly ever swears and she never gets angry, she's not a violent person and she would never hurt a fly. I could all eyes in the café on us now. She was making this harder than it needs to be.

"Dani, please. People are starting to stare at you-"

"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHO'S LOOKING AT US! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE DOING THIS TO ME LIAM YOU BASTARD! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!"

I watched in horror as she stood up from the table, tears streaming down her face. She grabbed her bag and stormed towards the door before turning around and coming back to the table. She picked up her half-eaten cake slice and shoved it onto my face, letting it fall on to my shirt. Then she got the coffee cup and poured the contents into my hair. She leaned towards my ear and whispered to me.

"I'll never forgive you for this Liam."

With one last sob she turned her back on me, giving me the finger over her shoulder as she flung open the door to leave the café. Angie hurried over to the table with a handful of napkins, hastily wiping off cake and mopping up coffee muttering something about it all being on the house. I sat and stared at the figure of the woman I once loved, getting into the back of a taxi, my eyes following her as the taxi drove off and round the corner.

She was gone.


	15. Chapter 14 - Awkward Moments

**Niall's POV**

Sitting at home on my own watching the TV really isn't helping to take my mind off things. I've always been known as the most vulnerable member of the group, but today, it was my turn to worry about the other boys. My mind kept bringing up the image of Louis in that hospital bed with all kinds of wires and tubes sticking into him. At least I can rest easy knowing that he is in safe hands. I'm actually more concerned about the other boys at the moment. There has been a lot of tension between Eleanor and Harry recently. Neither of them wants to leave Louis' bedside but they both don't want to see each other either. It gets pretty awkward on the rare occasions that Helen, Louis' nurse, needs to give us all an update on his condition because El just gives Haz death glares the whole time which leaves Harry squirming uncomfortably, maybe even guiltily. But why would Harry be feeling guilty? It's not like he's done anything wrong. Not like Liam...

Liam. Liam who has been cheating on Danielle. I still need to speak to him about that. He's my best friend and he needs to know that I know his secret. That way I can give him some honest advice if he wants it. I know Liam and he wouldn't just hurt Danielle like this if there wasn't more than what meets the eye. I was planning on confronting Liam today but apparently he had 'plans with Danielle' the poor girl. Either he was lying and he's really off having sex with that Beth chick or he is with Danielle acting like he loves her. One way or another, he's still hurting her.

I hear the door slam shut for at least the eighth time this morning signalling that Zayn is back inside again after yet another fag. Naturally he goes straight upstairs without even acknowledging my existence, no doubt locking himself in his bedroom again. I'm really worried about him too. Since our 'encounter' when he came home from the club he's been really distant with everyone, making extra effort to avoid me at all costs. When he is at home he spends all of his time in his own room, only leaving to go for a fag or have something to eat and he only leaves the house to visit Louis or in emergencies. The rare moments when he is in the company of other people he looks really uncomfortable, avoiding eye contact with everyone, fiddling with his sleeves and rubbing his arms. I'm worried that he might be ashamed of what happened between us and if that's true then it's my fault he's in this state. I'm a monster.

I hear the door open and someone steps into the house sighing deeply and I hear them wiping their shoes on the mat. Liam.

"Li? Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me Ni. Do you need me?"

"Can I talk to you for a minute please? I'm in the living room."

"Can I go and shower first please Niall?"

"No. Liam, I need to talk to you now. I have to get this off my chest sooner rather than later."

I hear him groan and he enters the room.

"What is it Niall?"

My eyes widen in shock as he steps into my range of vision. His hair is soaked with what looks like coffee and his shirt is stained with something dark.

"What the fuck happened to you?"

"It's a long story Niall and I don't really have the time to tell it at the moment. What did you want to say?"

I take a deep breath to summon up enough courage to utter these next words. Once I tell Liam this our friendship could change completely. He might not want to talk to me any more for getting involved in his personal life. On the other hand, it could bring us even closer together. I could be his rock in times of need, a shoulder to cry on. I could finally pay him back for all those sleepless nights where he'd try and calm me down after another nightmare about Zayn.

"I know you've been cheating on Danielle."


	16. Author's Note

Hi, so I'm new on here and this is my first ever fanfiction. This is also currently on a site called Wattpad but I thought I'd upload it here too and update on both sites as often as I can. I hope you enjoy this reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Obviously all of the events in this story are fictional and I do not own One Direction nor have I ever met them (sadly). Anyway, please read and leave me any nice comments you want. I can also take criticism but not people just being dicks to me because that's just rude. Hopefully I'll update soon and hopefully people on this site will like my story. I plan on writing more stories in the future as well, more One Direction, random bits of writing and maybe even some Harry Potter :) Thanks - Scott


	17. Chapter 15 - Sweet Dreams

**Louis' POV**

Dark. Complete darkness. Nothing but black in every direction. Not that I can work out if there is actually more than one direction. My head feels numb and I can't feel my body. I don't know if my eyes are open or closed and I can't hear anything. I don't even know if I'm asleep or awake.

Laying on the grass down by the lake in the park near why I grew up. One of my favourite places in the world. Hand in hand with the man I love. I can feel his long slender fingers stroking my hand and I turn to smile at him, blue eyes meeting green. Those green eyes that have my heart locked away. I see him lean towards me and move closer, shortening the distance between our lips. I can feel his warm breath on my lips as he whispers the words, "I love you Louis", "I love you too Haz."

"So, who's single and who's in a relationship boys? That is the question on everybody's lips. So, Zayn. Anyone in your life at the moment?"

"Er, no. I'm single."

"Niall, what about you? Got someone special?"

"Nope, I'm single and ready to mingle!"

"Haha, Liam?"

"Yeah, I'm still with Danielle."

"Oooh, the dancer? Good for you! What about you Harry? An attractive guy like you must have a significant other, right?"

"Actually, Louis and I have an announcement to make. We're a couple! We've been dating for a few months now and we're very much in love. Larry Stylinson is real!"

I open the door to my bedroom to find rose petals on the bed with a note that reads "Boo, meet me at the hill at 7. I've ironed your suit for you and ran you a hot bath. I'll see you later, Haz x" I read the note with a smile on my face noting my best suit hanging from the bathroom door before walking into the bathroom and grinning at the hot bubble bath ran for me with the vanilla scented candles around the edge. My boyfriend really knows how to spoil me.

I reach the top of the hill fiddling with my tie, anxious to see what Harry has planned for us. He steps out from the shadows of the trees looking perfect in his sexy suit with the cute bow tie I bought for him on his birthday. He takes my hand with a kiss and leads me to a blanket he has already set out with a picnic basket.

After we sit for what seems like hours chatting, laughing, eating, watching the stars and stealing the occasional kiss he sits up and starts to rummage in his pocket. I sit up looking at him questioningly as he climbs onto one knee holding my hand as he takes a small box from his pocket opening it to reveal the most stunning ring I have ever seen with an emerald in the centre that's the same shimmering green as those eyes I fell deeply in love with.

"Louis William Tomlinson, these past two years have been the best time of my life and I can't imagine living the rest of my life without you. I love you so much and you would make me the happiest man alive if you would do me the honour of becoming my husband. Louis, will you marry me?"

"YES! YES YES YES! OF COURSE I'LL MARRY YOU! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!"

I smile at my husband as we watch our children play in the garden of our dream home that we bought a year before we adopted our three perfect children: Ellie, Paul and James. We sit for a while sipping our beers watching them playing with our dog Olly before Paul walks over to us.

"Hey dads, is it okay if Andy comes round later on? We need to catch up on a project for Science."

"Sure thing Paul, you seem to have been spending a lot of time with Andy recently though. Is there something you're not telling us. We won't judge you, you know that, don't you son."

"Erm, well. Me and Andy are dating. I really like him and I think he likes me too. He makes me smile!"

"Aw, I'm so happy for you son."

"We're really proud of you."

I clutch at Harry's hand as I lay in the hospital bed, clinging on to the last ounce of life. I have to say my final goodbyes to my family before I go. Harry is next to me, our fingers intertwined and tears rolling down his face. Ellie and Chris are sat in the corner of the room, he's comforting her as she cries into his shoulder, her two sons Will and Ed are at home with Chris' parents, too young to visit. Paul and Andy are here too, standing near the door, Andy trying to console Chris. James is knelt near the foot of the bed, resting his head on his hands, his body shaking with the uneven sobs. Liam, Niall and Zayn are here too. Ever since X Factor all those years ago they became my family. They stand near the window, Niall and Zayn on either side of Liam resting their heads on his shoulders crying, and despite Liam's own tears he tries to help them both, He never really did stop trying to be 'daddy direction'.

I smile faintly at the sight of my family, lightly squeeze Harry's hand one more time, and drift off to sleep. I'll die happy.

The darkness engulfs me once more but I cannot feel anything. I feel weightless, like I can fly. I open my eyes to see myself laid on the hospital bed below me, I can see Eleanor and Harry near the door, I think Eleanor is leaving. She walks out the door and Harry sits down next to, erm, me? I float a little closer and noise starts to flood in my ears as Harry begins talking.

"Lou? I don't know if you can here this but... I-I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry for what happened at the club. I didn't mean it and I never wanted any of this to happen. I love you so much Lou and I would never hurt you willingly. You're my best friend in the world and I hate seeing you like this. It breaks my heart not knowing if you will ever wake up again. Wondering if I'll ever get the chance to see those blue eyes of yours. I don't know what Eleanor meant just then but I don't know what you see in me either. I don't deserve you as a friend. I love you so much Lou. More than I let you know. Hell, probably more than I even realise. I don't know what this love means or how deep our bond really is but please please wake up so we can try and find out together. I can't live without you."

His words touch me deeply and want to fly down and kiss him and confess my love for him so all of my dreams can come true. As I float down near him I bright blinding light illuminates the whole room. Harry doesn't seem to flinch and I realise, the light is for me. But, I don't want to die, I don't want to go and leave my Hazza-Bear here on his own.

I can feel the light pulling me in and there's no use in trying to fight it. I reach the light and head down a long tunnel, heading for the sky I can see at the end. I emerge from the tunnel to see a beautiful garden and my heart almost stops when I see the lady I miss with all my heart.

"MUM!"

"Louis"

I run into her arms, I can't fly any more, and pull her into a tight embrace, smiling into her neck as tears of joy wet my cheeks.

"Mum, I miss you so much. Can I finally be with you again?"

"No Boo, it's not your time. You have to go back and win Harry's heart, you're almost there boo, just don't give up. And when it really is your time, and you die a happy man, I'll still be here waiting for you. I love you Boo."

"I love you too mum."

"Well, now it's time for you to go back and life your life. Steal Harry's heart like he stole yours. I know you can do it boo, just have faith."

At the kind soothing words from my mother I close my eyes and feel myself drift peacefully back to sleep. In the final moments before the darkness engulfs me once more I make a promise to myself: when I wake up, I'm going to make my mum proud, I'm going to win the heart of the man I love...


	18. Chapter 16 - 1 New Message

**Eleanor's POV**

I have to run from the car park to the the door of the hospital. Harry is going to love this. I can't believe I fell asleep for so long. After my 'shift' last night I tried to have a little nap and I ended up sleeping for hours. I know for a fact Harry will have been with Lou all morning and he's going to rub this in my face. God I hate him.

"Excuse me ma'am, no running in the hospital please."

"Sorry!"

I slow down to a walking pace and round the corner to Louis' ward. I open the door and realise that Harry isn't in the ward, just the nurse checking Lou's blood levels. I think she's a new nurse, definitely not the same nurse who I saw yesterday.

"Hi, is Harry not here?"

"Oh, no he was in earlier this morning but then he had to leave, said something about an urgent message, he left pretty quickly."

Typical Harry. Always something more important than Louis in his life, the exact reason why I've had to dry Lou's tears so many times. The same reason he is in this hospital bed. The whole time the nurse speaks she doesn't look at me but as she pulls up and turns round I realise that I know her.

"Helen?"

"El!"

"What are you doing here? I didn't know you work as a nurse!"

"Yeah, modelling is just a side job. More of a hobby really."

After chatting with Helen for ten minutes she asks me a question that shocks me to my core.

"So, is your relationship with Louis really fake?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, I was talking to Harry earlier and he mentioned you and I was telling him I knew you and I said how cute you are with Louis and he said that the relationship is a stunt pulled by management in an attempt to cover up the fact for Louis is a whore."

"Harry. Freaking. Styles. I swear to God I'm going to kill that boy one day. We're not supposed to talk to people about that."

"So, it is true? Does that mean Louis is single? Because he's kinda cute and when he wakes up I was thinking about getting to know him a bit."

"Huh, typical. I guess Harry really is as stupid as he looks."

"Sorry?"

"Yes, my relationship with Louis is fake but my feelings for him aren't. I love him deeply he's just too blind to notice. And yes Louis is a bit of a whore, sleeping with a ton of guys and girls but that's only because he thinks it'll help him get over his 'crush' on Harry but it doesn't work because he loves Harry. It's obvious. But Harry doesn't notice and he just hurts his best friend time and time again and I'm left to pick up the broken pieces. So, Helen, if I was you, I'd stay clear of Louis if you don't want to get hurt."

A look of shock and hurt spread across Helen's face before she brushed past me and left the ward. I sighed deeply in exasperation before sitting down next to Louis' bed and drifting off to sleep with my head resting on his chest.

***Earlier in the day***

**Harry's POV**

"See you later Harry"

"Yeah, see you Helen"

Almost as soon as Helen leaves the room Louis' phone lights up on the table near the bed. I reach over to look at the screen, "1 New Message – Ginge". Curious, I decide to unlock his phone and read the message.

From Ginge

Hi Louis, don't forget you've got an appt with me in an hour. You still up for it? Usually you text me on the day so if you're not up for it today let me know so that I can book someone else in. Remember, I've moved now so my address is 34 Hawthorn Crescent. See you soon. X

I read the message three times, slightly confused as to the meaning of the text. Wait, Louis once told me he has a regular prostitute. This could be quite useful for me. I have to test some feelings I've been getting recently and this could help me understand them. I stroke Louis' hand giving him a weak smile.

"This is for you Lou."

I type a quick reply to the prostitute, telling her that I'm – Louis – still coming before heading out of the ward.

"Oh, Harry. Are you leaving?"

"Um, yeah. I have to go, urgent message. Can you tell the boys or Eleanor when they get here please Helen?"

"Yeah sure"

I thank the young nurse (Niall was right, she is quite attractive) and head out of the hospital towards my car. I wonder how this is going to turn out for me.


	19. Chapter 17 - Memory Shower

**Beth's POV**

A soon as I got the confirmation text, I started rushing round the house like a maniac making sure everything is in place for my next customer Louis, he can be quite kinky when he wants to be. I check the clock and see that I still have half an hour before he's due to get here so I time for a shower. I run the hot water and strip off before stepping in and letting the water burn into my skin. I always force myself to face extreme temperatures in the shower so that I can 'cleanse' myself from my sins. I hate my job but what else am I supposed to do to pay the rent and my dad's health care? He's the only family I have and he's well looked after in the care home but those places cost you know. I've tried to get other jobs but nowhere will hire me because I have no qualifications and no experience. This is the only thing I can do, I mean, who needs qualifications to get fucked? And experience? Well, I've got plenty of that. The time I spend in the shower gives me a break from my job and my dad. If I'm not working then I'm at the home keeping him company. I can tell he still misses my mum and I would too if I didn't know the truth...

***Flashback***

I got home from school waving bye to Zayn as he headed down the street to his house and stepped through the front door dropping my back and taking off my shoes and coat. I walked into the living room and saw the TV switched on and the ironing board in the middle of the room with a pile of clothes on the floor. I knew my dad was at work so I shouted my mum but I didn't get an answer. I could hear the washing machine running in the other room so I checked for her but there was no sign of her anywhere downstairs. I headed up the stairs, my stomach filled with dread and went straight to my bedroom to change. Once I was dressed I decided to check and see if my mum was asleep so I poked my head round the bedroom door but she wasn't there. By this point my heart was racing, I didn't know what to do. My mum never just leaves during the day without locking the door and turning the TV off unless something is wrong. I looked at the bathroom door knowing that this was the only room I hadn't checked yet and a lump rose in my throat. My hand was trembling as I reached for the handle to open the door and as I pushed it open I almost collapsed at the sight in front of me. The body of my mum was crumpled up against the toilet seat with one harm draped over the side of the bath and the other clutching on to a piece of paper. As I stepped closer to my mother's unconscious figure I saw an empty bottle of pills in the bath and a pen on the floor next to her other hand. I crouched down to check for signs of breathing and I checked her pulse. My own heart almost stopped beating as I realised that my mum was dead on the floor of our bathroom. I forced myself to breathe and fighting back tears I prised open her hand to remove the piece of paper and I unfolded it to read the typed writing addressed to my mum, it looked like a letter that must have came in the morning post:

_Mrs. Irene Murray,_

_You can run but you can't hide. You might have left Mullingar 11 years ago hoping you could escape us but rest assured we never gave up looking for you or your family and now we've found you. We'll never forget what you did to our community and we're going to give you an option. If you turn yourself in now we'll punish you accordingly and leave your family alone. If you try to run away again we will kill your husband, and then your daughter, and then you. Your choice Mrs. Murray. We're watching your every move._

I read and re-read the note, trying to make sense of it all. I always wondered why we had to move from Mullingar all of a sudden when I was only 5 but this note frightened me. What would happen to me and my father now that my mother was dead? Would we be spared? Or punished for her mistakes? And what were her mistakes anyway? A thousand questions ran through my head before I turned the paper over in my hand and recognised my mother's handwriting. A short note scrawled on the back of this ominous letter:

_Maz, I'm so sorry. I thought we were safe here but they found us. I can't keep running and I can't keep hiding. I love you so much never forget that and I'm eternally grateful to you for staying with me during all of this and trying to keep me safe but I can't put you or Beth through any of this any more. Take care of her for me and tell her that I love her. I know you'll miss me like I would miss you but you have to stay strong for her. She'll need you, now more than ever, I love you both so much. Goodbye x_

Tears began rolling down my cheeks as I folded up the note and putting it in my pocket, making a vow to never let my dad see it. It would kill him and I can't lose both parents. The one word at the start of the note would be enough to break him 'Maz'. His pet name. I never did ask why she called him that, I mean, his name is Ken, it's not even remotely similar. But all I knew was that it meant a lot to them and that's why he can't see this note. I'd rather he thinks that her death was an accident. I walked back to my room and picked up my phone to dial 999 as one question swam round and round in my mind: What next?

***Flashback Ends***

The hot water scolded my flesh as tears began rolling down my face as I thought of my childhood in Mullingar, all the happy memories I shared with my parents over the years, all those times in Bradford with Zayn and my other friends, my mother's death and her funeral, my father's break down and our move to London, getting my job to pay for the rent on the flat, moving my dad to the care-home, all the times I've visited him not knowing what condition he'll be in, all the moments I've shared with Liam...

Whoa, what the fuck was that? I never think about my clients in the shower. My showers are my escape from all those sleazy horny dickheads. But Liam is different. I mean, he told me he loves me! Who the fuck says that to the prostitute? And I know he meant it, that's the worst bit. No. the worst bit is that I think I love him too. I shut the water off and step out of the shower to dry off. I just manage to slip into some underwear and wrap a gown around me when the doorbell rings announcing Louis' arrival. I head downstairs and open the door.

"Hey Lou-who the fuck are you?"

"Oh, erm, hi, I'm, err... I'm sorry, I mean, I'm Harold, er, Harry... Hi"

What. The. Fuck.


	20. Chapter 18 - Could It Be Love?

**3rd Person POV**

As soon as Harry knew that the text Louis had received was from his prostitute he reacted without really thinking. He sent the text to the unknown girl telling her that he (Louis) was coming round, left the hospital straight away, drove to the gym to use their showers because he didn't want to face the other boys in case they questioned him but now that he was on the girl's doorstep with her eyes glaring straight into his and wearing nothing but a gown he began to question his intentions. Ever since they had had the fight in the bathroom at the club Harry had not been able to keep his mind off Louis and after Eleanor's words in the hospital he had seriously begun to ask himself questions that could completely change him. The idea of falling in love with his best friend frightened him and as soon as he read that text he knew what he wanted to do.

"What do you want?"

Beth stood on her doorstep wondering why the hell this curly haired boy was on her doorstep when she was expecting Louis. Looking him up and down she decided he was reasonably attractive with bright green eyes that shone brightly from behind his brown curly locks. His torso seemed to go on forever and she could easily make out his well toned abs and biceps beneath his shirt. Her eyes were drawn to his hands, they looked so smooth and soft and they were huge with really long fingers. She thought to herself I bet he's really good with his hands. As soon as the thought had crossed her mind she mentally scolded herself. She was practically eye-raping the young boy and she always keeps her distance from her all customers to avoid any attraction, well, almost all of them...

"I'm Louis' friend. He's in hospital and I know he wouldn't like his time with you to be wasted so I, err, well, yeah."

They shared an awkward moment of silence on the doorstep not knowing what to say to each other or where to look before Beth stepped aside and gestured Harry into the house.

"So, how do you want this to work then? Are you into anything in particular? Because trust me I've had some really weird requests so you don't need to feel embarrassed or anything."

"No. Can we just get on with it please."

Almost instantly Beth shrugged the robe off her shoulders before attacking Harry's lips with her own. He hesitated only for a second before lust took over and he swiped his tongue along her bottom lip. Her lips parted slightly and he sucked on the bottom lip, biting down gently. She whimpered in pleasure and their tongues began to battle for dominance roaming the inside of each others mouths. She'd already switched off, her head elsewhere whilst her body stayed in the room, just like she did with all her clients, except for Liam. Harry, too, was not really present. His mind had begun to wander to Louis again. Images he never thought he would picture about his best friend.

Her hands began to roam up his arms and along his toned chest, tugging on the thin material of his t-shirt. He broke the kiss and pulled it off over his head before latching his lips onto the young girl's neck, sucking gently on her sweet spot. Her fingers looped into the waistband of his trousers as she unzipped them before pulling them down to his ankles. He stepped out of his trousers, removing his socks and shoes in the process leaving the pair in solely their underwear. Despite his mind's constant wandering Harry could feel the bulge growing in his boxers. Beth noticed too and began to palm him through his boxers causing him to groan in pleasure. His hands slipped down from where they were wrapped in her pink hair, to her hips before he wrapped his arms round her and squeezed her ass. It was a nice butt, he had to admit, but he couldn't help but wish it was Louis'...

She felt his hands slide up her back and unhook her bra with ease. She was right about his skilled hands. A slight smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she thought about how Liam struggled to remove her bra. He was much more inexperienced than the majority of her clients. And Harry, even in his young age, was by far one of the most skilled. She gasped as he took hold of her breasts, one in each of his large hands, his slender fingers teasing her nipples as they hardened under his touch. She slipped her hand into his boxer shorts, wrapping her hand around his large throbbing dick. He moaned out loud and at the same time let one of his hands slide down to her pants, teasingly rubbing his fingers against her clit, causing her to squirm in pleasure. God, Liam could take a few pointers from this guy. She thought to herself as Harry's mind wandered too well, I guess Lou was right, that really is the best spot to focus on. Hopefully one day I'll be able to give Louis pleasure like this.

Almost simultaneously the young boy and girl stripped each other of their underwear allowing Harry's monster cock room to breathe, slapping against his stomach. She continued stroking his huge length as he began to insert first one and then two fingers easily into her pussy. They were both writhing in pleasure as Harry consistently hit her spot with the tip of his long fingers. She took hold of his hand and eased his fingers out as she dropped to her knees continually rubbing his shaft. She licked along the underside of his cock before blowing on the tip. She pressed her lips against the head and slowly began to take him in her mouth...

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't do this. It's wrong. I'm sorry but I have to go. I really am sorry."

She quickly stood up and wrapped her robe around her slim figure as he began rushing around the room redressing himself in a hurry.

"Harry? Is everything ok?"

"I'm fine, it's just, I shouldn't be here, that's all. It doesn't feel right. It's nothing to do with you it's entirely my fault, it's just that, well, I think I might be in love with someone and I thought I could have sex with someone to try and get over my feelings but the whole time my head was full of images of Lo- the person I think I'm falling for. I really am sorry to have troubled you. Thank you for, erm, everything and sorry again. I er, have to go now though. Bye."

"B-bye Harry."

She stood rooted to the spot as she heard the door slam. His words had pierced her heart like shards of ice. She knew right then that she really was in love with Liam. But what could she do about it? She couldn't quit her job. She needed the money for rent or she'd be homeless. And her father needed her. Without the job she had no money, and without the money he would have no care home, and without the care home he would probably die. Beth fell down onto her own sofa and began to sob into the cushions knowing that she had finally found her one chance at happiness and had blown it before it ever really started. Why does everything have to be so fucked up?


	21. Chapter 19 - Love, Lust and Loss

**Liam's POV**

"I know you've been cheating on Danielle."

At Niall's words I completely froze in shock. How can he know? How much does he know? How is he going to react? Why is he telling me this?

"Niall, I..."

"Save it Liam, don't try and lie to me because I heard you. That night when Louis ended up in hospital I heard you with some girl called Beth. And I'm willing to guess that time wasn't the first or the last, was it?"

"Niall, please let me explain?"

"Explain! Explain what? You're supposed to be Daddy Direction for fucks sake. We need you now more than ever. Louis is in a fucking coma, Harry is an emotional wreck, Zayn can barely bring himself to look at anyone, and me? Well, I'm left to pick up all the broken pieces while you just enjoy yourself, playing with Danielle's heart, and for what? A bit of fun? Lust? Just tell me Liam? Is it really worth it for all the pain that you are causing?"

"YES! Yes it is Niall. It's completely worth it because if you must know I'm completely head over heels in love with Beth. I can't help it if that hurts Danielle but I've tried to make things right. I broke it off with her today and I told her everything and look at what's happened. I've got coffee in my hair, I'm practically wearing chocolate cake and I feel like shit. And I come home to find you yelling at me, and what for? Because you can't handle yourself. You're just a child Niall. I am really sorry if I can't be 'daddy' for you and wipe away your tears at night when you get scared about your crush on Zayn going wrong but in case you have noticed I've got bigger issues of my own to deal with right now. I don't give me the guilt trip about Louis. He's in the best place at the moment and there's nothing I can do to help him. Harry and Eleanor need to grow up and settle their differences for themselves and do a little bit of soul-searching. And as for Zayn, he just needs to take a good long hard look at himself because if he carries on like this much longer he'll be going to an early grave. So please, Niall, before you start spewing shit in my direction, why not get all of the facts right first. Oh, and here's a great idea, maybe look a little bit closer to home for the answer to your problems in the future. Now, if we're down here I'm going to take a shower."

Leaving a dumbstruck Niall rooted to the spot, mouth agape, staring straight at me, I headed up stairs to take a well needed shower.

**Harry's POV**

I drove back to the Hospital as fast as I could feeling guilty that I'd almost slept with the prostitute. But why did I feel guilty? It almost feels like I've betrayed Louis and not just because I left him lying unconscious in a hospital bed so I could have sex. I think I really am starting to fall for Louis and the very idea terrifies me. I know I'm straight. Hell, I've slept with enough girls to know that for certain. I've never even so much as looked at guy in that way...

Except for Louis.

There's just something about him that drives me crazy and I don't know what it is. I can't bare the thought of him being upset, or scared, or alone, or sick, or hurt. Fuck, I don't even like the idea of him being happy with someone that isn't me. I've never experienced these feelings before, not even with any girl. At first I just thought that we were just really close friends. But since all of this has happened I've seen him in a completely different light. I just want to stay with him and hold his hand forever. Because even if my presence doesn't help him, it certainly helps me. It makes me feel safe and secure and that nothing else in the world matters except being with him.

I want him to be mine and mine only. Not Liam's or Zayn's or Niall's. Not the fans' or management's. Definitely not Eleanor's. Mine. Is that too much to ask? For him to wake up so that we can be happy together? I don't think so. But she does and I know it. Eleanor. With her sly little remarks and her death glares and her infuriating ability to always be with Louis when I want to be.

But is she really the only problem? Louis might never forgive me for what I said to him at the club. After all, that's the reason he's in a coma right now. It's all my fault. The boys know it. Eleanor knows it. I know it...

He knows it.

All I know for certain is that from now on, at least until he wakes up, I want to be with him at every single opportunity. And nobody is going to stop me from that. I don't care about Liam's stupid rota, I'll take everyone else's turns. I'm not interested if the doctors or Helen tell me I need to go home and rest, I'll just rest in the chair next to his bed, clutching his hand tightly in my own. And I couldn't give a shit if Eleanor wants to be alone with him. All she is a fucking accessory and the sooner she realises it the better. I don't care if management have decided that it's a good idea if she stays with him a lot, she can stay with him while I'm in the room because she is not being alone with him any more.

As I reached the corridor with Louis' private ward I could hear raised voices coming from the room. Two voices. Both female. And they sounded angry. I sped up to find out what was happening in the room and flung the door open.

Holy Shit!

**Eleanor's POV**

After a half-hour nap I sat with Louis for the rest of the morning, my mind wandering to other things. My confrontation with Helen earlier keeps swimming around in my head and I can't help but feel guilty for the way I spoke to her. She didn't know about my feelings for Louis or the situation I'm in she was just trying to make friendly conversation. And of course she's going to be asking if Louis' single, I know she's a huge fan, sorry, 'directionator' or whatever the hell she calls herself. I guess I'll just apologise when she comes back later.

I jump in the chair a little as the door opens, I guess I must have been nodding off. I look up to see Helen already fiddling with the machines next to Louis' bed preparing an injection.

"Hey, er, Hel? Listen, I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. You weren't to know about the situation. It's really complicated and I know that's no excuse for the way I spoke to you but, water under the bridge now yeah?"

I watch her as she injects the fluid into Louis' arm, covers the mark and disposes of the needle before she even looks up at me.

"Eleanor, you practically threatened me to keep away from Louis. You've made things really awkward for me with you, Harry and with Louis when he wakes up. And besides, whether you have feelings for him or not doesn't give you the right to stop other people from liking him. It's every 1D fan's dream to get with one of the members. And like you said, he is a whore, so I'm sure I have a fair chance with him. So no, the only thing that's 'water under the bridge' is your feelings for him because when he wakes up I'm going for it. Whether you like it or not."

The anger was showing in Helen's face as she gave her speech and I could feel the rage rising inside of me as well. There is no way I'm letting her win here.

"Well, thanks Helen. So much for friendly loyalty. What's that saying again? Chicks before dicks? I thought we were friends. Obviously that means nothing to you if you're willing to stomp all over my heart just to have one night of fun."

"Ha! Friends? You can't talk! You didn't seem very friendly this morning when you were threatening me, did you? So fuck you Eleanor. You've made it crystal clear that we're not friends."

"Don't you even care about the fact that I love him?"

"Why should it bother you? You know he's a whore, so why does one more person make any difference?"

"This is completely different!"

"How? Because you know that I actually pose a threat? Are you scared that he'll choose me over you?"

"You little bitch!"

"Ha, no denial. Well, news flash Eleanor. Even if I wasn't interested you wouldn't stand a chance because he's already chosen someone else over you."

"You don't have a clue what's going on!"

"Oh please. You're living a lie El! A sad pathetic little lie. You cling on to the hope that if you keep playing happy families with him for long enough he's going to choose you. Just face it Eleanor, you're nothing but second best."

"Pfft, that's rich coming from through. What have you got to show for your life?"

"This isn't about me! You don't get it do you? You're nothing to him! You've never been nothing and you'll always be nothing. At least I have some use in his life, I'm the one making sure he gets better. I'm one of the many screaming fans that have got all of the boys to where they are today. And what are you? A bit of bling around his neck to flash off to the press. You model for a living Eleanor but to him, you're nothing but a mannequin."

Her words struck me like knives and the rage I was feeling build inside me reached bursting point and I completely exploded...

**Harry's POV**

As soon as I opened the door I saw Eleanor and Helen standing in the middle of the room clearly in the middle of an argument and before I could do anything Eleanor slapped the nurse full force across the face and the latter fell against the bed. I was about to help her up when she pulled herself back up and returned the favour but twice as hard sending Eleanor stumbling into the wall. I couldn't do anything but watch as Helen lunged forward and grabbed hold of El's hair pulling hard. She responded with a scream and bit Helen's arm. Helen yelped in pain and pulled her arm free.

The cat fight began escalating out of control going from slaps and bites, to pushes and nips, to scratches and before long the two girls were sending punches and kicks flying at the other. I was terrified of what would happen if I tried to separate the two but I didn't dare leave to get help in case they caused serious damage.

After a minute or so the fight reached its peak and with full force Eleanor shoved the nurse full force into the medical trolley, her arm narrowly missing a scalpel. Clearly satisfied Eleanor turned to face me and without even enough time to register what was happening she crumpled to the floor with a thud and Helen stood above her unconscious body clutching a heavy metal tray, a strange mixture of shock, fear and anger etched on her face.


	22. Chapter 20 - Monster

**Niall's POV**

Ouch. Well, that hurt. I can't believe Liam just completely flipped like that. It's really not like him at all. I can't help but feel that there may have been some truth in his malicious words though. Maybe I really should stop relying on him so much. And about looking closer to home when dealing with my problems? He's definitely right about. My problems aren't his problems and I need to sort them out myself. And to do that, first things first I have to talk to Zayn.

**Zayn's POV**

I wince at the pleasurable pain as the blade cuts deep in to my skin again. Both of my arms are covered in multiple cuts of different sizes criss-crossing over each other, some are merely faded scars, others more fresh, a handful still bleeding. The blood trickles onto the bathroom floor as I dig the blade in deep near my hand and slowly drag it up along my skin to my elbow. It feels good. I count my recent additions making sure there is the correct number. 1. To help cope with Louis in a coma. 2. For Harry not loving me. 3. For mistreating Niall. 4. For letting my family down. 5. For hating my family. 6. For loving Harry. 7. Because I miss Beth. 8. For being so fucked up. 9. Because I hate the fact that I cut. And the tenth and biggest cut for being a faggot. A disgusting, fucked up, revolting, unloved little faggot.

After a minute of stroking my new cuts and pressing down to allow the pain to continue the blood finally stops running, the pain subsides and the pleasurable feeling of happiness is replaced by a wave of disgust. I wash away the blood from my arms and the floor with an old towel as tears begin rolling down my cheeks for what must be the tenth time today. How do I even have any tears left? I stand up and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I look awful. My eyes are bright red and sunken in my face from a great deal of tears and a great lack of sleep. My hair is scruffy and all over my face, unwashed and not quiffed because why should I bother? My chin has a thick line of stubble which I don't bother to shave. This is not Zayn Malik from One Direction looking at me. It's Zayn Malik, the screwed up gay kid that nobody could ever love.

I heard a knock at my bedroom door and jumped. I stood still in silence hoping that whoever it was would just go away.

"Zayn, I know you're in there. We need to talk. You can't keep ignoring me forever. I'll stay here all day and all night if I have to. You'll need to leave your room at some point so you might as well just open the door now."

I inwardly groaned. Niall, typical. I knew I couldn't avoid him forever and he's right we should talk. I quickly grabbed one of my varsity jackets and stretched the sleeves as much as possible. I don't want Niall to see my cuts. I stuck a few bracelets on my wrists for good measure and bundled the stained towel up in a heap and shoved it in the bin. Quickly washing my face to hide the fact I'd been crying I gave myself and my room a once over before closing the bathroom door and opening my bedroom door to see Niall standing in the doorway with a concerned look on his face.

"Hey Zayn"

"Hi Niall, you'd better err, come in?"

We both sat down on my bed, closing the door on our way in, neither of us making eye contact with the other. I began picking at my sleeve whilst Niall stared intently at the floor muttering something under his breath.

"Niall I..."

"Zayn. Wait. About that night when we, err, well, you know... when Lou... after Har.. I mean, when I heard Li... erm, the night I had the bad dream?"

"Niall, listen. I'm sorry about what happened that night. I was drunk, it was a mistake, I wasn't thinking straight and neither were you. I took advantage of you and that was wrong and I've never forgiven myself. But what you have to understand Niall is that I would never hurt you intentionally. You're my best friend and I lo- I really care about you. You know that right?"

"Yeah, I know Zayn. You're my best friend too. I would never hurt you either you mean so much to me. And that's why I can't fucking stand to see you like this. What's wrong Zayn? Please, you can tell me. And don't say you're fine because it's bull shit. You're not fucking fine. You're hardly speaking to people, you haven't been eating properly, you've been trying to avoid me as much as possible and you barely leave your room unless you want to smoke. Please just tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help. I care so much about you Zayn. There isn't a moment that goes by when I don't think about you. I love you Zayn. Please just trust me. Please."

Niall's voice became croakier as he continued speaking and tears were welling up in his eyes as he clutched my hands tightly within his own, his fingers gently stroking the back of my palm. I caught his eye momentarily and the pain and worry was etched deep in his face. I turned away from him and pulled free of his grip as my own tears began to fall once more. I've placed all this pain on him. All because of a stupid drunken mistake.

"Niall, I really am okay. I am. I promise. It's just that night... with you. It shouldn't have happened. It was such as stupid drunken mistake. And now I've fucked everything up because how will we ever be the same after this? You're going to think I'm some kind of heartless bastard."

"Zayn, please. You know what they say. Drunken actions are sober thoughts. I know how it feels to come to terms with being gay but it's alright, we can work through this together. And we'll make a go of it together and we'll both be happy. But I can't do it all on my own. You have to try too. And just promise you won't do anything stupid."

"No."

"Sorry?"

"You don't understand. You're not fucking listening to me Nialler. I don't know what kind of sick twisted little fantasy world you're living in but I'm not gay and that night meant nothing to me at all. There's nothing to 'make a go of'. I have absolutely no feelings for you in that way."

"But we... and you.. I... what about us?"

"There is no 'us' Niall, this is exactly why I've been trying to stay out of people's way because I knew you'd make a big deal out of nothing. If you have feelings for me Niall then there's nothing I can do about that and I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression but I don't feel the same way. I never have and I never will. I'm not gay. I have no problem with you being gay Ni you know that. But just don't try and get me involved in all this shit."

"Zayn, please. I-I. Pleeeaaaasse!"

"I'd like you to leave now Niall. I need some time to think. I hope this won't affect our friendship. And if you need anything, you know where I am. Right?"

"FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU ZAYN! YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"

"Niall-"

"You're a monster Zayn. You deserve to be alone rotting away in here. Liam was right about you. I'll see you later, 'Bradford Bad Boy'."

Niall stormed from the room and my heart broke in two. My resolve crumbling instantly as the door slammed shut and I broke down into tears. How could I hurt Niall like that? Tell him so many lies? He's my best friend! I should be able to tell him everything! But I just can't. It's selfish, I know, but maybe it's better this way. I slipped off my varsity jacket and flung my t-shirt on the bed and went in to the bathroom to pick up the blade. Maybe it's time I used more than one of my release methods at once.


	23. Chapter 21 - Little Things

**Liam's POV**

The shower helps a lot. Watching the bits of cake and coffee drain down the plug hole gives me time to think over my actions today. Danielle will probably be crying at home by now. I know her, that scene in the coffee shop was completely out of character and combine her embarrassment with her anger and sadness and she will definitely be a blubbering mess. Poor girl. She really didn't deserve that. But it had to be down, I love Beth.

The way I acted with Niall though was not fair. I'm just sick of having to look after them all. I have my own issues too and I can't always be Daddy Direction. They just need to accept that. I should probably apologise to him but he's not my priority and he probably won't even want to talk to me at the moment. My main priority now is Beth.

After I'm clean, dried and dressed I begin to plan my next actions. I can hear Zayn and Niall talking to each other, it sounds like they might be shouting. Maybe I should...

No. Beth is my priority right now, not them. I grab my phone and scroll through my contacts before pressing dial.

Ring ring ring ring ring

"Hello?"

"Hey Beth it's me, Liam"

"Liam? Oh, hi. Why are you ringing?"

"Erm, I err... Listen, are you free now? Can I come round?"

"Err, sure. Yeah, my last client left about ten minutes ago and I don't have to be at the club until 8 tonight so you should have plenty of time."

"Great, can you text me your address? I'll be round soon."

"No problem, see you later Liam."

"Yeah, see you Beth."

**Harry's POV**

"HELEN! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?"

"Oh my God. Harry I-I don't know what came over me! What am I going to do now? I can't believe I knocked her out!"

"Alright, erm, stay calm. I'll, I'll er get a doctor"

"NO!"

"What?"

"We can't! I'll get fired!"

"But..."

"I need this job Harry. Besides, it's not like she didn't deserve it."

"I know, heck I'd jump at the chance to do this to the bitch but we can't just leave her. She could have concussion, or brain damage!"

"Okay... okay, you're right. I'll run some tests on her and if we need a doctor then I'll get one. Hopefully it won't come to that though."

Ten minutes passed by slowly with Helen frantically running tests on Eleanor. I was worn out from checking for passing doctors and nurses, passing Helen whatever she needed and watching over Louis, the whole time in a state of panic.

"Helen, are you nearly finished?"

"Shouldn't be too long, she seems to be stable and I think she'll wake up soon."

"Good. Because there seems to be a shit ton of hospital staff at the end of this corridor."

"Crap. Well, I'm nearly done. There's no lasting physical damage exterior or interior so she should be fine. In fact, I don't need to do anything else she just needs to rest. Help me lift her onto the chair and then we better clean up the room. That way it won't seem suspicious."

"Okay, but we better be quick."

I help Helen lift Eleanor into the chair beside Louis' bed and leave her to Helen to make look like she's just sleeping before gathering up all the lose medical equipment. Once we're done the room looks exactly how it should be but Helen seems stressed.

"What's up?"

"I can't find Louis' most recent readings. I took them when I first came in here before we were arguing and now I can't find them."

"Can't you just take them again?"

"No, it will mess everything up because it's too close to his next test."

"Well, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I can't stay and look right now though because I've been in here too long already. You're just going to have to try and find them before I get back."

"Great. What about her?"

I jerk my thumb in the direction of Eleanor and Helen frowns as her eyes glance towards her 'sleeping' form. The last thing I need is that stupid bitch waking up before Helen gets back.

"Erm... Here, give her two of these tablets with a glass of water. That should stop her from waking up for at least another hour or so. That should give you more than enough time."

She hands me the tablets and take them in my hand tentatively.

"You sure about this?"

"Harry, I'm a nurse. Go and get a cup of water, bring it back, dissolve the two tablets into the water and make sure she swallows it all and then you should have enough time to find Louis' notes. There should five sheets of paper. One of them has a graph, one has a table, there's a yellow sheet of writing, a blue check list and a red sheet which has a list of numbers. The yellow sheet will have his picture attached and they may or may not be all attached to a brown clipboard."

"Right, got it."

"Thanks Harry. I owe you big time."

"Don't worry about it."

**Niall's POV**

I ran straight from Zayn's room into my own slamming the door shut behind me before breaking down into tears. Both Zayn and Liam's words swam around in my mind. I can't believe how badly I've fucked up. I should never have given in to my desire for Zayn and do what I did with him. Yeah sure, he was the one who led me on but he was drunk after all. I could have, no, should have said no but my desire was too overwhelming. I refuse to accept that I love Zayn. It hurts too much if I do. I tell myself over and over that it's just lust and that I'll get over the silly little crush. I decide to do the only rational thing I can think of and go in to my bathroom to dry my tears.

Once I'm changed and decide that I'm reasonably presentable I leave my room and head downstairs almost bumping into Liam as he emerges from his room. He looks clean and smells fresh from his shower and he's changed too. We make eye contact for a second before he turns away quickly and hurries down to the front door.

By the time I get to the bottom step and grab my coat, shoes and keys Liam's car has already pulled away down the road. I wonder where he could be heading off to in such a rush and then decide that I don't give a shit any more. Liam told me straight that he's only going to care about himself at the moment so that's exactly what I'll do to. Screw Liam, screw Zayn, screw everyone. I hop in to my car and pull off the driveway to make the ten minute journey I have planned. I turn the radio on and regret it instantly when I recognise the intro to 'Little Things'. Within seconds Zayn's voice can be heard in the car and it brings tears to my eyes. Jesus, some 'silly little crush'.

_Your hand fits in mine _

_Like it's made just for me _

_But bear this in mind _

_It was meant to be _

_And I'm joining up the dots _

_With the freckles on your cheeks _

_And it all makes sense to me_

The words hit me with a pang to the heart as I long for Zayn to sing it to me. Our hands really did fit together perfectly that night when he led me to his room. Everything made so much more sense when I was with him. The tears threaten to flood over my eyes as the song continues into Liam's solo.

_I know you've never loved_

_The crinkles by your eyes when you smile_

_You've never loved_

_Your stomach or your thighs_

_The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine_

_But I'll love them endlessly_

I remember once crying in the kitchen after reading stuff on the internet about how ugly and fat some people found me and I began to feel incredibly paranoid from that moment on but Zayn came in the kitchen and saw me crying and tried to convince me that I should ignore the haters and that he loved everything about me.

_I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth_

_But if I do, it's you,_

_Oh it's you,_

_They add up to_

_I'm in love with you,_

_And all these little things_

Tears began streaming down my face now because I remember that Zayn then swore to me that he would never let anyone say anything to hurt me and that if he or the boys ever mentioned anything that might offend me they only say it because they care.

_You can't go to bed,_

_Without a cup of tea,_

_And maybe that's the reason_

_That you talk, in your sleep_

_And all those conversations_

_Are the secrets that I keep_

_Though it makes no sense to me_

By this point I felt like I needed the windscreen wipers to be on my eyes because my flow of tears clouded up my vision. Luckily I knew the route well enough to go on auto-pilot. Part of me wanted to turn the song off but a voice in the back of mind told me that doing so would just be foolish so I decided to leave it on.

_I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape_

_You never want to know how much you weigh_

_You still have to squeeze into your jeans but,_

_You're perfect to me_

My throat choked up at the one word sung by Harry 'perfect'. Will I ever get to hear Zayn call me that again like he has in the past?

_I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth_

_But if it's true,_

_It's you,_

_It's you,_

_They add up to_

_I'm in love with you,_

_And all these little things_

I was now blubbering like a little baby at the thought of losing Zayn entirely. A few weeks ago, no, a few days ago I was dreaming of Zayn singing this song to me but now I've completely blew any chance of that.

_You'll never love yourself_

_Half as much as I love you_

_You'll never treat yourself right, darlin'_

_But I want you to,_

_If I let you know, I'm here for you,_

_Maybe you'll love yourself,_

_Like I love you_

_Oh_

My own solo hit me most of all because I wrote this part myself for Zayn. I'd noticed he'd been feeling depressed the full time we were making the album and when we were offered the chance to contribute to writing some of the songs this was the result on my behalf.

_And I've just let these little things_

_Slip, out of my mouth,_

_'Cause it's you, oh it's you,_

_It's you,_

_They add up to_

_And I'm in love with you,_

_And all these little things,_

_I won't let these little things_

_Slip, out of my mouth,_

_But if it's true,_

_It's you, it's you,_

_They add up to,_

_I'm in love with you,_

_And all your little things_

As the song finished my tears continued to roll down my cheeks but slower and less frequently. I turned the radio off thinking it would be best to travel the rest of my journey in silence, giving me time to think freely and clear my head. The last thing I needed was another song to make me cry like a little girl.


	24. Chapter 22 - Take Your Time

**Liam's POV**

After a good ten minutes of driving around looking for Beth's road I finally pulled up outside her house. Now that I was this close I started to doubt whether or not I was doing the right thing by coming to see her. My heart was longing for me to go for it but my head was practically screaming at me 'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? THIS IS A BIG MISTAKE! TURN AROUND AND GO HOME!' I was usually quite a level-headed guy and I reasoned everything through but this time I refused to listen to the negative voice and for once I would listen to my heart and go with my gut instinct. Before I could talk myself out of it I switched off the car's engine, went straight up to her front door and knocked three times before noticing the doorbell and ringing that too, just for good measure.

**Beth's POV**

I put the phone down and I glance around the room realising that I've hardly moved since Harry left. I can't believe I let Liam come round. What was I thinking? I'm in too much of a vulnerable state to see him at the moment. He'd said come round soon and I already told him I was free all day so I can't really ring and cancel. Looking round the room again I realise that the place isn't exactly clean and despite showering just before Harry arrived I realise I'm not exactly clean either.

After tidying the house briefly and having a quick cold shower I sit down on the sofa and turn on Friends. I changed into a vest top and sweatpants hoping that Liam wouldn't think I looked awful but at the same time I didn't want to look my best for him. My mind wasn't on the TV at all as I played and replayed every possible scenario of why Liam would want to come and see me at such short notice. My heart was racing and I kept glancing from the clock to the door every few seconds, my hands fidgeting uncontrollably and my feet tapping subconsciously.

After what feels like 4 hours later, but is actually only five minutes according to the clock, I hear a knock on the door and then the doorbell rings. I jump of the sofa and rush to the door before pausing in front of the mirror to check my reflection and I hesitate with my hand resting on the handle. Taking a deep breath in, I pull the door open.

**Liam's POV**

"Hi."

"Hey Liam, come in."

"Thanks."

I follow Beth through to the sitting room where Friends is playing on the TV, my eyes roaming the house as I walk taking in every detail, and take a seat on the sofa.

"Would you like a drink Liam? Tea? Coffee? Water? I think I might have some juice or something somewhere."

"Do you have any coke?"

"Erm, I have Pepsi if that's ok?"

"Yeah, that's perfect. Thanks Beth."

As she goes in to the kitchen to get my drink I stare after soaking up her natural beauty. She really is beautiful. I can't explain what it is about her that I love so much but I can think of two reasons why I find her perfect. I'm in love with her and all her little things and she's got that one thing. It's like those songs were made for her. Even dressed in just a simple vest top and sweatpants with damp hair tied loosely in a bobble and minimal make-up she is still stunning. She disappears out of view and I snap back to reality desperately trying to work out what it is that I really came here for. I know what I want but I have a feeling that what I want, I can't get. I still have to try though. I can't let her just slip through my fingers because I'm a coward. She's not like anyone I've ever met before and there is no way I'm going to lose her.

_Lose her? Please, you don't even have her. You'll never have her. Just give up now._

No. I'm not giving up. I'll fight for her if I have to. I'll never stop fighting for her. I want to be with her. No. I **need** to be with her for ever. She makes me feel... complete.

_Oh come one. You're just deluding herself. You're Liam Payne from One Direction for fucks sake. You can get any girl you want. You don't need some prostitute, no matter how hot she is. She couldn't love you. She's probably incapable of loving anyone._

You're wrong. She's not just some hot prostitute. She's Beth. My Beth. And she is special. I can see it in her eyes. There's a reason she's in this job. It wasn't her choice and I can see the sadness in her features every time she has to go to another client. She hates herself. That's going to be my first challenge. She won't be able to love me until she learns that she doesn't have to hide away from the world. Even though she doesn't know I'm in One Direction she must be aware that I'm rich. I can convince money won't be a problem so whatever it is that she has to do this job for she won't any more. I can make her see that. I can make her see what it's like to be loved by someone so much that they would risk their life just to keep you safe and happy. And most importantly, I'll make her fall in love with me too.

_Ah, I see. Is that it then? Sounds simple enough._

Shut up. I never said it would be easy. But I'm not going down without a fight. I will have her as my own. Or I'll fucking die trying. No matter how hard it will be or how long it takes.

"Here you go Liam. Here's your Pepsi."

"Thanks."

"So, you wanted to talk?"

"Yeah, I did. Well, you see... erm, the thing is. Err, well, um."

"Liam, listen. I don't mean to be rude but I really don't have all day."

"Oh, yeah, right. Sorry. Ok, basically I've been thinking about stuff for quite a while now and I think it's about time I said something. I know last time you were round my house I kinda blurted something out at you as you were leaving and well,"

"Liam. Please let me say someth-"

"I BROKE UP WITH MY GIRLFRIEND TODAY!"

I clamped my hand shut over my mouth shocked at my own random outburst. What the fuck was I trying to achieve? I can see that Beth is surprised too because she's staring at me with wide eyes her mouth still open from her unfinished sentence that I cut short.

"I, I'm erm. Sorry to hear that Liam."

"Don't be. It's fine. Other than the fact I can still smell coffee in my hair. We've sort of been drifting apart a bit anyway but I did have another reason for breaking up with her. You see I'm an honest guy and usually I'm like a father figure to my friends and I do everything by the book lets say but I got lead down a new path that I really wasn't used to but I'm glad I followed it because it led to something great. Unfortunately for Danielle that 'something great' was what made me hurt her. She was so heartbroken today but I had to tell her the full truth. If we had carried on the way we were for any longer we would have been miserable. At least this way we can both have a shot of happiness."

"Liam, I don't understand why you're telling me all of this..."

"It's you Beth."

"What?"

"It's you."

"I don't -"

"You're the reason I broke up with Danielle."

**Beth's POV**

My head was spinning as his words began to hit home. I was the reason he broke up with his girlfriend! But why? Maybe he just felt bad for using a prostitute when he was with her. I'm sure a lot of guys get a guilty conscience like that, especially since Liam is usually a genuine, honest gentleman. As much as I wanted to believe that that was the real reason, the only reason, I had a horrible sinking feeling that there was much more to it than that. A lot more.

"Liam. I, I don't. What-Why?"

"Because Beth. What I said to you when you left my house last time. I meant it. I've fallen in love with you. Head over heels, completely and utterly, madly in love with you. And that's why I broke up with Danielle. Because I want to be with you for the rest of my life. And you can say no if you want but I'll never give up because I know you feel the same way about me. I can see it in your eyes. You might try and hide it or even deny it but I know you're attracted to me too. It might not be love, or at least not like the love I feel for you, but there is still something there. And I'll stop at nothing to bring those hidden emotions into the light so that they can grow."

My heart swelled at his words. He loved me. He loved me enough to break up with his girlfriend and risk everything. He even said he'd wait for me. I really wanted to agree with him. Proclaim my love to the stars and live with him happily ever after. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I can't leave my job. And while I'm in this job I can't have a relationship. And even though I know he would wait, I can't let him wait forever.

"I'm sorry Liam, but I can't be with you. Not just now. Ever. Please try and accept it. Find someone else and be happy with them. I don't deserve you Liam. Even if I did love you too, which I'm not saying I do, we couldn't be together because of my job and I need my job. I'm sorry Liam. But you will find someone else. You're a nice guy. Smart, funny, kind, handsome. You'll have girls falling at your feet. You don't need me. And Liam, no more appointments with me either. Just, forget out me. Yeah?"

"No."

"What?"

"No. I won't forget about you. I won't move on or find someone else. I'll do what I said I will do. I will fight for you. I will wait for you until you are ready. I'll do whatever it takes to be with you because that's how much I love you Beth. I don't know what your reasons are for needing this job but if it's anything to do with financial problems I can give you all the money you need. Nothing is too much for you. But for now I won't push it and I'll give you time to think. So, for now, I'll say good bye. But I'll see you soon. I promise. I'll never give up. I love you."

I could feel the tears in my eyes threatening to flood over and I could see Liam welling up too. My heart almost snapped in two at the sight of him standing there so vulnerable and hurt but trying to be strong for my sake. I wanted to run into his arms and claim him as my own. I wanted to take up his offer of money and ditch my job to be happy with him but I couldn't do it. I was too afraid. Too stubborn. But I just didn't have it in me to try and hurt him any more so I simply nodded in agreement to his words and took a step forward. He opened his arms and I stepped into his warm embrace as he pulled me tightly into his body, my head resting on his chest as my tears silently rolled down my cheeks and his dripped gently into my hair. He kissed my forehead gently before pulling out of the hug and taking a step back. He looked straight into my eyes, his eyes sparkling with a small flame that seemed to burn into my soul.

"Take all the time you need Beth. I'll be waiting."

With those words he turned and headed to the door. I stood rooted to the spot for a moment until I heard the door open and close then I ran to the window and watched him from behind the curtain as he made his way down the path to the car. He stopped with his hand on the car door and turned to face the house, glancing briefly to the window where I was stood. He nodded slightly before climbing in and driving off down the round.

"I love you too."


	25. Chapter 23 - Second Thoughts

**Niall's POV**

I got out of the car and went straight up to the front door knocking three times. I wondered what I must look like, my eyes were still red and puffy from my tears which had left streaks down my cheeks, my nose had been running the entire journey leaving it red and sore, my hair was a mess from pulling it so hard in temper and sorrow. I hoped my choice to come here wouldn't be too awkward after the last time I saw him. I was just contemplating turning around, getting back in my car and driving somewhere else, anywhere else, when the door opened.

"Hey Niall, what's up? I'm just working out on the treadmill."

I almost froze at the sight in front of me, hardening slightly in my pants, my head spinning questioning why I ever turned this beautiful boy down. He's gorgeous. Standing in front of me in the doorway wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants, damp hair sticking to his forehead, his brown eyes shining with the genuine smile on his face, beads of sweat glistening on his abs. How could I have been so blind? My original plan to spend time with him in the hope he could cheer me up disappeared as I soaked up his beauty. I wanted this boy to be mine.

***Flashback***

"Thank you all for being an amazing crowd tonight!"

"Can we have a big round of applause for our fantastic band!"

"We've been One Direction, good night!"

"We love you Newcastle!"

"Thank you!"

Still pumped with adrenaline and sweating from all the running around on stage we headed back to our dressing room. Paul came over and smacked Harry on the back before congratulating us.

"Good work guys. Another great show."

"Thanks Paul."

"Louis!"

"Liam!"

We all turned to see Dani and El running over to engulf Liam and Louis in tight hugs respectively.

"You were great as always!"

"Absolutely fantastic!"

The eight of us carried on walking until we reached the door of our dressing room and Eleanor and Danielle walked of to go and join the rest of our family and friends waiting for us. Paul stood outside the door while we all had quick showers and got changed and then we went to see everyone else.

We came through the door and everyone began cheering and some came over to give us hugs. The room was full of people: Eleanor and Danielle obviously, Paul, Lou, Preston, the band, the members of 5SOS and some of their families, Liam's sister Nicola and his best friend Andy, Zayn's mum and little sisters, Harry's sister Gemma, Louis' mum and my brother Greg. After a lot of laughs, hugs, food, drink, and friendly conversation Josh took me to one side of the room telling me he wanted to speak in private. We managed to sneak out of the room and started walking to his dressing room when Preston stopped us.

"Where are you going?"

"Oh, sorry Preston. Josh just wanted to talk to me in private. Is that okay?"

"Of course but I'd better go with you both. Don't worry, I'll just wait outside."

"Thanks."

We finally got to Josh's room and sat down on the sofa.

"Niall, I've had something I wanted to tell you since we met and I've been too scared to say it but I think this is the best time."

"Josh?"

"Basically, after your big news last week I figured that I might actually have a shot with you."

"Wait, Josh, is this what I think it is?"

"I've liked you for so long Nialler and now that I know you're gay too I figured, 'what have I got to lose,' right?"

"Are you asking me out?"

"Yes."

"Wow. Josh, I just don't think that's a good idea. I mean, I think you're great and I love you as my best friend but that's it. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I understand. We're still cool though right?"

"Err, yeah. I guess. But are you sure you're okay?"

"Of course I am. I've taught myself to live my life with no regrets Niall. Forget the past, look to the future and live in the present. Anyway, we should back and see everyone else. They'll wonder where you've gone."

***Flashback Ends***

Without a great deal of processing my actions I flung my arms around Josh pulling him close into my chest and pressing my lips against his. He hesitated for a moment before deepening the kiss. After a couple of seconds I felt his tongue swipe across my bottom lip begging for entrance and I granted it. A warm feeling spread within me. The kiss felt so nice. The kiss began to get heated pretty quickly and I felt Josh kick the door shut behind me as he pulled me further into the house. We broke apart to breathe and Josh grinned at me before my lips attached to his neck finding his sweet spot instantly and sucking on it just enough to leave a faint mark. He whimpered in pleasure and began to pull at the hem of my t-shirt. I took a step back to free myself of the fabric and flung it to one side. In the heat of the moment Josh started pulling me towards the stairs and I willingly followed and we ran up to his room hand-in-hand the whole way and stealing the occasional kiss. As soon as we reached the room we began to engage in another deep passionate kiss, this one full of lust. Within seconds we were both stripped completely bare and falling onto the bed.

By this point we were both rock hard and craving the other's touch. I was pushed down into the bed by Josh as his lips began roaming my body. He twirled his tongue around both nipples and slipped it in and out of my belly button before licking a strip along the underside of my cock. I whimpered in pleasure at the feel of his tongue roaming my body.

"Josh stop being a fucking tease."

He grinned up at me before taking my length in his hand and tossing me off tantalisingly slowly.

"So big Nialler."

He licked around the head of my dick kissing it lightly before taking it in his mouth and sucking slowly, his hand stroking the part his mouth didn't cover. I groaned out and grabbed a handful of his hair. He hummed around my shaft sending waves of pleasure through my body and lust took over as I forced him down so he was taking my whole length. He got the hint and started to deep-throat me, only choking slightly as one of his hands began playing with my balls whilst he began teasing my hole by running his finger around the rim. I decided to pull him off my cock, reach my hands round, grab him by his legs and spin him so that we were in the perfect 69 position. I raised my head and took his cock in my mouth straight to the back of my throat, hollowing my cheeks to give Josh maximum pleasure. I felt my hips get lifted off the bed and my legs were pulled towards my head before I felt Josh's tongue licking around my rim, dipping it in my hole every so often. I groaned in pleasure around Josh's dick eliciting a moan from him which sent shivers up from my ass along my spine. After a while Josh pulled away from my arse and I let his dick slip out of my mouth. He crawled up next to me and kissed me quickly.

"Do you top or bottom Nialler?"

"I'll do anything for you Joshie."

"Alright then. Take it like a bitch. My bitch."

Josh leant over to the bedside table and grabbed a bottle of lube from the drawer along with a condom.

"No Josh."

"No what?"

"Put the condom back. I want you to take me bareback."

"Shit Nialler that's hot."

He lubed up two fingers before sticking straight into my hole making me squeal in pleasure. He curled them up and I yelped as he found my prostate and I started rocking back on his fingers as he thrust into me faster and harder. He started scissoring me, stretching me to my limit and I was a moaning writhing mess. It felt amazing. He was now up to three fingers and about to add in a fourth when I had had enough teasing.

"Josh. I'm ready. I want you to fuck me now."

Without a moment's hesitation Josh pulled his fingers out and thrust his throbbing 8-inch straight into my tight hole causing us both to groan in pleasure. As he adjusted to find my prostate again he began thrusting in at a much faster pace. We were both moaning messes within seconds and I was begging for more, my cock twitching in pain, craving to be touched.

"Joshie. Touch me baby."

He reached over to my cock and grabbed hold of it, wanking me off at the same pace as his thrusts.

"Eugh, Josh. I-I'm gunna cum!"

With a loud scream of 'Fuck Josh! Holy Shit' I sent ribbons of hot cum shooting all over my stomach and Josh's hand. As I rode out my orgasm I tightened around Josh's cock and with a large shriek of 'Shit NIALLLEEERRRR!' he emptied his load into my ass and it dripped down my thighs and onto his dick. He pulled out of my ass and kissed me softly before snuggling into my side, both completely exhausted.

"Where does this leave us Nialler?"

"Well, I'd quite like to just lay here with my boyfriend if that's okay with you Joshie."

"Of course baby, I love you."

"I love you too babe."

We cuddled up closer together, Josh pressed up at my side with his head resting on my chest and my hand gently stroking his hair and it didn't take us long to fall asleep in this position. His body pressed against mine just felt perfect.


	26. Chapter 24 - Blood

**Zayn's POV**

Blood. So much blood. It won't stop. What the fuck have I done? I have to find my phone. I have to call an ambulance. I try to stand and fall back down. I try again and fall once more. I try and hoist myself up on the bathroom counter and it works and I reach for the door handle. The door swings open and I fall through on to the floor. Why won't the blood stop? Why can't I stand up properly? Why do I feel so dizzy and sick? Why is the room spinning? Why? Why? Why? I spot my phone on the bed and lunge for it but I miss and grab the bed sheets pulling the whole duvet off the bed and onto the floor. I rummage for my phone in the sheets and clutch it tightly in my hand. I have to concentrate very hard to call 999 without making any mistakes.

"Hello, what service do you require?"

"Ambulance! I need an ambulance please. There's so much blood."

"Okay sir calm down. Can you tell me your name and address please."

"It's Zayn. Zayn Malik. They'll know where to find me. I'll be in my room. It's on the second floor and it's the first door on the left. Now, I'm tired and I want to sleep. There's so much blood. Good night."

"Excuse me sir. Zayn? Mr. Malik? Hello! Are you there? Zay..."

**{Blackout}**


	27. Chapter 25 - Trip Down Memory Lane

**Harry's POV**

At least an hour and a half had passed since Helen gave me the pills to keep Eleanor asleep and I was starting to feel uneasy. I'd already managed to find Louis' files and return them to Helen and since then I'd been a nervous wreck sitting beside Louis jumping at the slightest of sounds anticipating the moment Eleanor regained consciousness. There had been no sign of any of the boys today at all, not even Liam and he was the one who suggested a rota! I would have been more annoyed about them not turning up if I hadn't had the day I'd had so, as it happens, I was kind of glad about the solitude. It gave me time to think about everything and it left me with a lot less explaining to do regarding the fact that there was now two unconscious bodies in the room. I glanced at the clock again noticing that the pills should have worn off about ten minutes ago but I didn't worry too much about that because the bottle only gives a guideline anyway. What concerned me more is that Helen is due to come and take Louis' levels again in the next five minutes and if Eleanor chose that moment to wake up I didn't think I could handle round two between them. In fact, I wasn't convinced that everyone would end up surviving it.

**Liam's POV**

I left Beth's house feeling slightly disheartened but more determined than ever. I drove around for a while wondering where I should go. I didn't want to go home yet because I wasn't sure if Niall was there I couldn't face him just yet. Besides, I knew Zayn was home and he seemed to be avoiding everyone lately so I chose to give him some space. I contemplated visiting Louis but I wasn't overly comfortable with the idea of bumping into either Harry or Eleanor. For some reason I wanted to be alone for a while to clear my head, maybe take some time to figure out how I could win Beth's heart. Without really planning my route I ended up driving to a quiet hill just outside of the city. It was somewhere I went a lot with Danielle after she brought me here on our third date. She used to come here as a child a lot and it had become her favourite place where she could escape from the world with just herself or the people she loved. It had a lot of fond memories which made my heart ache slightly because this was the place where we first confessed our love for each other right after she told me she came here with people she loved. I'd teased her, asking why she brought me and she'd got all shy and blushed a bright red and after a slightly awkward silence we'd both blurted the words out at the same time. It was more cheesy and corny than sweet and romantic but that's what made it special. This was also where we first had sex, just on the other side to where my car was parked, in the small enclosure near the stream. It had been late at night and I'd surprised her with a picnic and things just started moving fairly quickly.

Now I was back here alone with the memories of Danielle making my heart ache and my longing for Beth trying to pull me back to my car. I walked over the top of the hill and down to the stream. I was near the enclosure just on the right hand side so I started walking along the river bank towards the left knowing that this would lead me further away from the city. There was no body in sight as I walked for at least 6 minutes before I could see the steep waterfall coming up in the distance. Usually Dani and I would walk down to the waterfall and sit on the grass at the side and watch the water cascade down onto the rocks below but right now I felt like turning back. That is, until I spotted something at the top of the waterfall. Or rather, someone.

**Niall's POV**

I felt happy. Being with Josh was, nice. Really nice. I don't know how I didn't notice how beautiful he is before. And I don't just mean his looks, although he is drop dead gorgeous. What I mean is that he is just one of those people who are so sweet and kind that they have a sort of glow about them that spreads to everyone they meet like a disease. A magical disease that left you with a warm happy feeling in your stomach. That was Josh. And yet it still felt something was missing. I didn't know what but as perfect as Josh was I still felt like I was missing something. I was curled up to his side on the sofa in his house watching _Love Actually_ while he ran his hand through my hair massaging my scalp and everything felt amazing but yet still something wasn't there. I reckon probably has something to do with my encounter with Zayn. I'd been crushing on him for a long time and it felt like I was falling in love with him and he really hurt me. That was probably why I didn't feel 100% perfect in my current situation. I did understand one thing though. If I found it this easy to be with Josh so soon after Zayn hurt me. And if it felt this good being with Josh. Then I guess I never did really love Zayn. Because being with Josh gave me sparks and butterflies and warm feelings just like my dreams with Zayn did. And my body still felt like it was on fire when I was 'with' Josh just like it did that night with Zayn. But with Josh, I had no fear. Everything felt great.

This moment with Josh felt special and it made me happy and even though I had Zayn on my mind, Josh had still managed to take my mind off him for the rest of the day. After our magical passionate dance of love (sometimes called sex) earlier we had fallen asleep briefly in each others arms and we woke up shortly after we both decided to take a shower... together... which lead to round two. Then we went to the kitchen and decided to make cookies even though neither of us knew how to. We tried to follow the recipe from Josh's book but it didn't exactly look right and the kitchen was a mess. We'd been flicking flour at each other the whole time and laughing about it but then I decided to lick the mixing spoon and Josh flipped and decided to crack an egg on my head. Naturally I couldn't let him get away with it so I'd chucked the full bag of flour (well, the half that was left) all over him. By the time the cookies were in the oven we were both covered in egg, flour and cookie dough and the kitchen was filthy but we couldn't stop laughing. My t-shirt was sticking to my chest so I decided to treat Josh to a strip tease. He found the entire thing hilarious and decided to return the favour. He was surprisingly good at it and even though I tried to laugh it off I couldn't help but get hard which naturally didn't go unnoticed by Josh. This then resulted, half an hour later, with us both naked and sweaty in the kitchen, the cookies burnt to a crisp, thick black smoke filling up the room. We cleaned the kitchen as best we could and decided we'd better shower again which involved an absolutely amazing blow job... and Josh giving me head too.

Everything about the day I had spent with Josh had felt amazing and my body was still tingling with pleasure and I got a shock each time his fingers brushed my scalp. I really was starting to love my boyfriend a great deal. My Joshie.

**Harry's POV**

I heard a slight shuffling and a quiet stifled groan coming from the other side of the room whilst I was brushing Louis' hair out of his face and spun round quickly to see Eleanor shifting in her chair, clearly waking up. I dashed quickly over to her chair not knowing what she would say or do when she fully regained consciousness.

"Hey El-"

I was interrupted by the door opening and turned round fast to witness Helen entering the private ward.

"Oh, Harry! Is she waking up?"

"Yeah, it looks like it. What do you think will happen now?"

"I don't know Harry but I have to tell you, I'm a little bit scared. I need this job Harry, and if this gets out, I could lose it."

"You could lose your job?! Could!? Helen, please tell me you can see the bigger picture here. You could get arrested for assault!"

"It won't come to that Harry."

"How do you know?"

"Because if the police got involved I would claim I was acting in self-defence. Then she can be the one who gets locked up."

"Harry? Is that you? What happened? Where am I?"

"Eleanor? What do you mean? We're at the hospital remember. In Louis' ward. Can you remember what happened?"

"No. Why are we in a hospital? Is Louis sick? Is he going to be okay? Where is he!?"

I stood staring at Eleanor trying to take in the situation. She was clearly suffering from some kind of memory loss as a side effect of her head injury or possibly the tablets but how much could she remember? She obviously knew my name and Louis' but she had no idea why we were in hospital. In fact, she didn't even remember being in the hospital. Helen pushed me to one side and went into 'nurse mode'.

"Hi Eleanor, it's me, Helen, you remember me don't you?"

"Yeah, you're from my modelling agency, aren't you? Are you a doctor?"

"No I'm a nurse, I'm looking after Louis. Now listen to me carefully El, I'd like you to tilt your head back and open your eyes wide. Can you do that for me?"

I watched in confusion as El nodded and did as Helen asked. Helen picked up a small torch and shone it into Eleanor's eyes twice before pulling back with a mildly concerned look on her face.

"Can you tell me the last thing you remember please Eleanor?"

"Yeah, I was at home on my own watching America's Next Top Model because I knew Louis had gone out with Harry and Zayn. I'd had a bowl of tomato soup with some bread and a glass of milk, then I'd had a bath, I'd had a couple of glasses of wine and half a box of chocolates and then I went to bed."

"That was the night that Louis got hurt Helen, it must have been. She can't remember anything that's happened at the hospital."

"Can someone please fill me in here please. Why are we here? And why can't I remember?"

I opened my mouth to explain before closing it again completely stumped. I did this twice more clearly looking like some kind of fish before Helen saved me and I remained staring dumbfounded at Eleanor.

"Basically Louis had gotten a bit too drunk and he came to see you during the night but he fell and hit his head so you rang the ambulance for him. He's been in a couple of days now and he's in a coma but he is stable and improving. You and the boys have been great popping in and out all the time but you and Harry haven't left much really. Luckily Harry has been getting some sleep but you haven't slept at all and the doctor was concerned about you. You took some sleeping tablets and they worked but you're suffering from one of the minor side-effects: short-term memory loss. Your memory should gradually return over the next few days so don't worry about it. I've told you everything you need to know anyway. Well, I'd better record Louis' levels and then I'll be off."

I couldn't believe that Helen could string together these lies so easily. I guess she'd already considered this possibility and planned ahead. Or maybe she planned this to happen. Maybe she knew El would forget about the hospital when she gave me the pills. I certainly wasn't about to rule that possibility out because she really did want to keep her job, she said so herself. All I know is that I'm going to be keeping an extra close an eye on her. I watched as she made a note of all his details and then left the room saying bye to Eleanor and sending a sly wink in my direction. Yeah, I'll definitely be watching her very closely.

**Liam's POV**

I froze when I spotted the figure standing on a rock in the middle of the river at the top of the waterfall. It was difficult to make anything out from this distance but I prayed that I was imagining the waves of curly hair cascading down the person's back. I began running towards the waterfall, my fear driving me forward relentlessly as I tripped over tree trunks, nettled my hands and cut my arms and legs on thorns.

"Danielle!"

The figure spun round to face me and my worst fear was confirmed.

"Dani, what are you doing, you'll fall!"

"No I won't Li-Li. I'm planning to jump."

"JUMP!? ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY!? YOU'LL DIE!"

"That's the idea Liam."

"What?!"

"You heard. I'm going to jump to my die. Why? Because I want to. Why do I want to? Because I nothing else to live for. Why do I have nothing to live for? BECAUSE OF YOU!"

"Dani, please, it's just a break-up. You'll find someone else, you deserve so much better than me. You've got your whole life ahead of you. Just walk towards me please."

"You don't get it. You were my life. I love you so much Liam. More than anything. I don't see any of my family any more. You were the only one I loved and you just ripped my heart to pieces. I told you had an audition today and I blew it because of you. I blew it so badly that I got the sack and now I don't have a job. I lost my dream job and the love of my life all in the space of a few hours and it's all your fault Liam."

"I'm so sorry Danielle but please, you don't have to do this. You'll get through this, I know you will. Please just come away from the edge and come towards me. We'll sort this out."

She looked conflicted as she stood at the end of the waterfall and the wind flung her hair all around her face. She looked like a possessed demon with her eyes red and inflamed and her hands twitching. She slowly nodded her head and took one step causing me to rush forward instinctively and shout in fear.

**3****rd****Person POV**

As soon as the lady on the phone realised that she had been speaking to One Direction's Zayn Malik she sent a team of paramedics straight to the mansion. They ran upstairs to the room Zayn had described and they found the young boy lying face down on the floor near his bed: shirtless, unmoving, and slowly bleeding. One paramedic noted that there was a blood trail from the bathroom and under closer inspection it became clear that Zayn had been a victim of self harm as a bloody razor was on the bathroom floor swimming in blood. They gently rolled the boy over unable to see the physical cuts due to the overwhelming amount of flood. They lifted him onto a stretcher and attempted to stop the blood flow as they raced back down to the ambulance.

By the time the ambulance arrived at the hospital the paramedics had stopped the bleeding and covered the wounds, wasting no time in rushing the star through the hotel main doors. A female voice rang sharp and clear through the hotel lobby laced with worry.

"Zayn? Oh my god what happened!"

"Can you stay back please Nurse, okay can someone please contact Liam Payne, Niall Horan, Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson please and take the boy to surgery, he may need stitches."

"Excuse me may I interrupt please sir. Harry and Louis are already in this hospital. Louis is in a coma in a private ward and Harry is visiting. I can go and inform if you like. What exactly has happened?"

"We are only speculating at the current time Miss Wilson and I'm afraid I cannot disclose any information we may have at this stage. Please do inform Mr. Styles immediately. I suspect Mr. Malik will be placed in a ward next to Mr. Tomlinson's very soon. In the mean time someone else needs to contact Mr. Payne and Mr. Horan."

Helen ran from the lobby straight back to Louis' ward and burst through the door. Harry and Eleanor looked at her in horror clutching their chests from the shock.

"You have to come with me now. Both of you. Zayn's in hospital!"

**Liam's POV**

Danielle had tried to step back towards me but slipped into the water. Luckily I instinctively lunged forward and caught hold of her and pulled her onto the river bank. We lay there for at least ten minutes trying to get our breathing and our pulses back to normal levels. I wanted to make sure Dani was okay but I didn't know how and I was frightened. I felt so much guilt that I could hurt someone so badly that jumping off the waterfall started to look slightly more appealing but I shook the thought from my head as my phone began to ring. I retrieved the device from my pocket and frowned at the unknown number before answering.

"Hello, Mr. Payne?"

"Yes..."

"I'm calling from the Royal General Hospital."

"Is this about Louis? Is there a problem!"

"No, we're calling in regards to a patient who has just arrived, we believe he is a friend of yours. Mr. Zayn Malik?"

"Oh God, Zayn! Yes, he is my friend! What's happened?"

"I'm sorry I can't discuss matters over the phone. Could you please come as soon as possible. Thank you."

The phone clicked off and I stared at it blankly.

"Liam? What's wrong?"

"Zayn's in hospital. I have to go there right now. Come on you're going with me. I'm not letting you out of my sight, you've got some explaining to do."

**Niall's POV**

I came off the phone from the hospital and began frantically getting dressed panicking over Zayn, thousands of scenarios running through my head as I yelled to Josh to get ready. Five minutes later we were both outside in his car because I was shaking too much to drive. He tried to go as fast as possible but it seemed that we got caught up at every traffic light and we got stuck in two traffic jams. We finally arrived at the hospital half an hour later just in time to see Liam parking up at the other side of the car-park. He climbed out of his car as we got out of ours and made his way over with Dani by his side. I briefly questioned why she was with him when they broke up today but I pushed the thought aside because I had bigger problems to deal with.

"Niall, listen, about what I said earlier -"

"Not now Liam, I'll talk to you later. Right now we need to see Zayn. The four of us headed into reception to ask where we could find Zayn but the receptionist was on the phone. We waited for a minute before Helen came round the corner with Eleanor and we ran over to them.

"Where is he?"

"Follow me, Harry's with him. He was with Louis when Zayn arrived, so was Eleanor. We went in to see Zayn for a few minutes but then we left and Harry has been with him for the past half hour."

The six of us made our way round to the corridor where Louis' ward is located and took a right turn before the end of the corridor. Helen gestured to the second door on the left and Josh being the closest pulled the door open allowing me to take a step inside.

"Holy Shit!"


	28. Author's Note 2

***Author's Note***

**Hands up who loved all the drama in that last chapter. I won't be updating now until 1st August at the earliest because I go away to Bulgaria. I never seem to thank people on here but thank you guys for over 900 reads that means a lot and thank you to the two people who reviewed the story for saying all those nice things. I'll try and be a bit better on here it's just that I'm still trying to figure out how it all works if I'm honest (I'm useless I know). Well, thanks anyway and I shall see you when I get back from my holiday, YAY!**


	29. Chapter 26 - DisgustingOr Loveable?

***Author's Note***

**I know I'm a day late but happy birthday to Rainfeather97 :)**

***Harry's POV***

"You have to come with me now. Both of you. Zayn's in hospital!"

I stared at Helen in shock as she came rushing into the ward shouting those words. It took me a moment for the message to sink in before I sprang to the door pushing Helen aside in the process.

"Where is he?"

"The doctors were taking him to surgery but that's all I know. I heard one of them mention something about stitches."

"STITCHES! WHY?"

"Harry, calm down, I'm sure he'll be okay. Helen just said she doesn't know any details."

"Shut up Eleanor. What the fuck do you know?"

"HARRY!"

"Oh piss off Helen. I'm going to find Zayn."

"We'll come with you."

"No you won't. You can stay here and watch Louis. Besides, don't you have a job you should be doing?"

With that I stormed off looking for my ill friend who's apparently in surgery, leaving behind my unconscious best friend and two bewildered women, wondering where the fuck my other friends are. I can't cope with all of this stress at the moment. I still have to deal with the Louis situation, I don't know how to handle Helen's lies about Eleanor's memory loss and I'm completely guilt-ridden over having sex with a prostitute and wondering why the fuck I do feel guilty about that. It's not like she's the only whore I've ever fucked. Anyway, I didn't even fuck her. This is all so messed up and confusing.

I reach a reception area and I'm just about to ask where Zayn is when I spot him being wheeled towards me.

"Zayn!"

I sprint over and the doctor who he's with stops me.

"Are you Mr. Harry Styles?"

"Yes"

"Good, I'm taking your friend to a private ward just down this corridor you can follow us. Luckily your friend hasn't lost too much blood as the cuts didn't sever any major arteries. At the moment we have simply bandaged him up and will be monitoring him very closely as he made stitches but for now he should be fine."

"What happened to him?"

"Well, Mr. Styles, that is something I would advise you speak to him about. You see, Zayn has suffered from a number of wounds on his stomach from a sharp object such as a knife. Now, the injuries sustained are, shall we say, arranged in a way which implies malicious intent on behalf of a third party."

"You mean someone cut him with a knife!"

"Well, no, not exactly. That is a possibility but it is not likely at all. What I have taken into account is that the cuts are in a certain manner which suggest that Zayn allowed the object to cut him. Also, there a number of scars on his wrists which appear to have been made by the same weapon. Given that Zayn called the ambulance himself from his bedroom and when the paramedics arrived he was lying shirtless in a pool of blood near his bed with a trail of blood leading to a razor blade on his bathroom floor, well, I'm sure you can fit the pieces together yourself."

"Wait. You don't mean? Self-harm?"

"That is the only reasonable explanation Mr. Styles. The question is, why did he do it? And, will he do it again? Self-harm is a sign of depression and you need to find out why your friend might be depressed so that we can help him."

"Okay, thank you doctor. Where is he now?"

"The nurse has put him in this room here."

"Thank you."

I entered the ward just as the nurse was leaving and I saw Zayn sat up on the Hospital bed covered in white bandages that were stained red. He gave me a faint smile as I walked in.

"Zayn, tell me what happened. Please? I'm really worried about you."

"It's nothing for you to worry you about Harry. I-I just er got a bit clumsy and careless and-"

"Don't fucking lie to me Zayn I'm not stupid. I know what happened, the doctor told me. And he told me about the scars on your wrists too. Why would you do this Zayn? I don't understand."

"That's the point Harry. No one does. Nobody understands. Nobody cares. And nobody loves me."

"Zayn! How can you say that? Lots of people love you! Me, Louis, Niall, Liam. All of our fans. Your family."

"Ha! My family! They'd fucking murder me if they knew the truth! And the fans would find me disgusting. And you guys..."

"Zayn, seriously, you're scaring me know. What's wrong?"

"I'm gay Harry. I'm gay. I'm a fucking homo. I'm a filthy disgusting dirty little faggot."

"Show me the cuts."

"What?"

"I said show me the cuts."

He held his arms out in front of me and I had to hold in a gasp. I could barely see the skin on his wrists for the multitude of cuts. My eyes wandered further up his arms noting more and more cuts all the way up to his shoulders and I counted a few on his chest above all the bandages.

"Show me your legs Zayn."

"Please, Harry, I-"

"Show me."

He grimaced and slowly removed his trousers so that he was sat in nothing but his boxers. He hid his face away from me in shame as I took in the sight before me. There were more cuts than I could count all over both of his legs.

"Zayn, why have you done all this?"

I stared deep into his dark eyes glazed over with unshed tears searching for an answer as my own tears welled up.

"Because I'm a freak."

"Zayn, listen to me, being gay doesn't make you a freak. You should know that."

"My family wouldn't see it that way."

"If your family really loves you they won't care. Love is supposed to be unconditional. And if they didn't accept you for who you are then that's okay because we will still love you and we will support you no matter what."

"Really?"

"Yes Zayn. I mean, we all know Louis is bisexual but we still love him. And Josh is gay and we all know that Niall is too even if he isn't quite ready to 'come out' yet. And then there's me. Hell, I don't even know what I am. But that doesn't matter. Because I know I have friends who will love and support me no matter what I am. And as for the fans, you don't have to tell them. They don't know about Louis. And if you did tell them, the real ones will support you. Sure, you'd get hate, but no more than what we get sometimes now. Look at the amount of hate Eleanor gets from our fans! But her fans love her and they fight back against the hate. Trust me Zayn, this isn't going to be the end for you. In fact, if you just embrace your sexuality then it might even make your life a lot better because you can finally be yourself."

"I'd like to believe you Haz, I really would. And part of me does. But then there's the other part that thinks, well, I'll show you."

Slowly Zayn began to remove the bandages covering his stomach to reveal the fresh cuts. I looked away at first due to all the blood but once I knew they were all off I turned back to look and gasped in horror. There were a number of fairly deep, bright red, jagged cuts across his stomach going in a number of different directions and of various sizes, many joined to each other. It took me a second to register what I was really seeing. He'd use the cuts to voice his dark thoughts. And set deep in to his stomach was the one word. 'Disgusting'.

"Zayn, you have to listen to me right now. You are not disgusting. Being gay is not disgusting. The only disgusting thing is the cuts themselves. Please Zayn, you have to understand that. If you were disgusting I wouldn't love you like I do, would I?"

"I-I guess not, thanks Harry."

"No Zayn, thank you."

"Huh?"

"You've helped me understand something."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I know what I want right now."

"Oh? What's that?"

"This."

With that I leant closer into Zayn and shifted to the end of the chair so that I was right next to him. He moved closer to the edge of the bed and leant in towards me so that our faces were almost touching. Hesitantly I closed the gap and his lips touched mine sending a warm flood of happiness through my body. I pulled away slightly and Zayn pulled me back in, deepening the kiss. Things were heating up pretty quickly until-

"Holy Shit!"


	30. Chapter 27 - Scream,Shout,Don'tLetItOut

**Niall's POV**

I completely froze in the doorway of the ward staring at the sight in front of me. Zayn and Harry were both on the bed together staring straight back at us in shock, still incredibly close to each other after quickly pulling away from the kiss when I shouted. Zayn had the hospital covers bunched up in front of his chest up to his neck as if he was hiding something. Behind me I could hear the others starting to recover from the shock of what we had just witnessed. None of us knew what to say and nobody wanted to be the one to break the awkward silence. Just as one of us felt like we really should say something there was a noise behind us and we turned away from Zayn and Harry for a moment.

"Excuse me, I need to check up on my patient can I ask you all to step aside please. And may I ask, why are you all standing in the doorway?"

"Oh, well-"

"We, err..."

"Yes. Of course. Ah, Miss Wilson can you please take all of these, er, visitors elsewhere whilst I do my job. That goes for you on the bed too. Oh, and speaking of jobs, don't you have one you should be doing Miss Wilson?"

"Oh, right, sorry Jess-er, I mean, Dr. McNamara, I'll get back to work right away. Follow me all of you."

Leaving the doctor to work on Zayn, Harry stood up from the bed and walked past me to join the others following Helen back to Louis' ward. I lingered a moment longer trying to make eye contact with Zayn who was trying to do the exact opposite before the doctor ushered me out of the room. Josh took my hand in his and led me off to catch up with the others. Once we were all back in Louis' ward Helen shut the door behind us and before looking at all of us expectantly she started to check Louis' levels.

"Ok, I'm going to have to ask, what the fuck was going on in there Harry?"

"Eleanor I think that can wait. I for one want to know why Zayn is in that ward in the first place!"

"Well Liam I guess that's just one of the many mysteries of today like what the fuck is she doing here with you when you apparently broke up today!"

"You told him!"

"Well, I wasn't planning on keeping it a secret, was I? And that's nothing to do with you anyway Niall. I could just as easily ask you why Josh is here holding your hand!"

"Oh, right, well Niall and I are-"

"That's none of your business Liam."

"Hold up a second, rewind. Dani, you and Liam broke up!? Why didn't you tell me? We're supposed to be best friends!"

"Oh typical Eleanor, because that's clearly the most important thing at the moment."

"Piss off Harry."

"Yeah, why don't you go back to smooching with Zayn."

"Nialler, why are you getting so worked up about those two kissing?"

"Hah, I can tell you why Josh if you'd like."

"Liam, I swear to God if you don't stop getting involved in my personal shit-"

"Liam. Stop. Or do you want me to tell everyone here why we're not together any more?"

"Oooh, say it Danielle. I'd love for everyone to hear his dirty little story."

"Shut the fuck up Niall. And if you so much as utter one syllable I'll tell everyone why you're here with me now."

"Liam! Please! You can't-"

"ALRIGHT ENOUGH! ALL OF YOU!"

We all froze and turned to look at Helen who was looking at each of us in turn with a mixture of disgust and horror etched on her face.

"I don't have a clue what is going between you all but it's clear that you all have a lot of messed up crazy shit that needs resolving but quite frankly I'm not interested in it at the moment. The only thing I want to know right now is the only thing that you should all want to know and if it's not then you should feel ashamed. Harry, why is Zayn in hospital? I know you've spoken to the doctors, so, what's happened to him?"

As Helen's words sunk in I realised that I'd had my priorities all wrong. Whatever had gone on between me and Zayn, and me and Liam, earlier shouldn't have mattered. The main priority is making sure Zayn is okay. I definitely shouldn't have made a scene in the middle of the hospital and tried to drag up personal issues. I glanced over at Liam and I could see him staring at the ground fidgeting uncomfortably clearly mirroring my thoughts. We'll definitely need to talk later. All eyes in the room now turned to Harry waiting for him to speak.

**Harry's POV**

Everyone was staring straight at me and I didn't know what to say. I knew Zayn wouldn't be ready for everyone to know about his cutting and even if he was it wouldn't be my place to tell people. Instead I told them the only thing I could think of.

"Dr. McNamara told me that he has cut wounds on his stomach possibly from a knife or some other sharp instrument which is why he is all bandaged up at the moment. The doctors aren't sure what caused the injuries yet but they're hoping that Zayn will tell them more when he feels up to it. But at the moment he is just resting and recovering. They said he may need stitches but they don't know for certain yet."

"Oh God, so will he be okay?"

"As far as the doctors can say for certain, yes."

"I just have one question Harry."

"Yeah Niall?"

"Does 'resting and recovering' usually include a game of tonsil tennis?"

"Oh for Christ's sake Niall!"

"No Liam, I want to know."

"Yeah me too."

I looked away from Eleanor and Niall, noticing Danielle, Josh and Helen all nod in agreement, and then I turned to Liam, hoping he would speak some sense.

"I must admit, I'm completely baffled by the situation and since we did all catch you in the act so to speak I feel like we do deserve some answers."

My jaw practically dropped off at Liam's surprising words. I can't believe he actually sad that! Liam!

"No. Sorry. There is no way I'm telling you lot anything about it, at least not yet. It's my personal life and I want to keep it that way. And besides, it's not just my decision to make, I'm going to go and talk to Zayn about it first. And before any of you say anything, it's not like I'm the only one in this room that's keeping secrets to themselves."

As I said the last words I stared straight at Helen and she shifted uncomfortably under my gaze. I made my way to the door my eyes sweeping the room as I left and I noticed that everyone was watching each other closely.


	31. Chapter 28 - Baby Steps

**Harry's POV**

When I returned to Zayn's ward the doctor was just leaving and she glared at me as we passed each other near the doorway.

"Mr. Styles, whilst it is none of my concern who visits Zayn in hospital, and I did not doubt for a second that he would have many, I must ask for all visitors, in future, to seat or stand themselves in more appropriate locations."

"Of course, sorry doctor, I'll pass the message on to them all. They won't block the doorway again."

"Yes, well actually I wasn't only speaking about your friends. The hospital beds are for hospital patients only and are not built to hold two people. I'm not one to pry so I won't ask as to why you were on the bed with Zayn, though I sincerely hope it wasn't breaking any hospital regulations, but please refrain from doing so in the future."

"Right, er, no problem, it won't happen again, sorry."

With that she turned on her heel and marched down the corridor leaving me alone in the doorway of the ward. I entered the room and rolled my eyes at Zayn and gestured towards the door.

"What a stuck up bitch, huh?"

"Harry, can we talk about the kiss?"

"Oh, um, sure."

"What did it mean to you? I need to know before do or say anything rash or stupid. Was it a mistake? A bit of lust maybe? Or did, you know, really mean something to you?"

"Zayn. You're one of my best friends and you mean a great deal to me. You're really special I just wish you could see that. And I can show you that you're special, if you like, if you would do me the honour of becoming my boyfriend?"

"Harry! Are you serious? I don't think I'm ready for that. What will everyone say? The guys, management, fans... my family."

"Zayn, you're rushing things again. Think it through. Niall, Liam, Josh, Dani, El and Helen all saw us kissing. We can't exactly deny the kiss so what have we got to lose by saying we're together? And we can keep it a secret from management for the time being. Then, if we keep a low profile, we'll also avoid any sticky situations with the press and the fans. Sure, maybe we might suddenly find that Zarry is trending more than usual but that's nothing to worry about. Remember last month when LiLo was one of the biggest trends on twitter? All because of one slightly misleading photo or whatever. And as for family, well, we don't have to tell them anything yet. Hell, I'm not even ready to tell my family yet and they're not homophobic. So, if you agree, then we'll just take it one small step at a time, okay? Well, after the big jump of telling Niall, Liam, Josh and the girls. And then the other biggish step of telling Louis once he's awake. But other than that, baby steps."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Then, yes."


End file.
